Category: In Which We Mock Our Illness

I was advised to return to the gynecologist to have the doctor give my cervical cyst the once over. I thought, surely he won’t just prise me open with the speculum just to say, “Yeah, the nurse practitioner; she was right. Typical cervical cyst.” But yet, that’s what he did, and it hurt even more…

I have a fairly stressful week of work coming up, and I’ve been very phlegmatic about it. People tell me how they feel about the Impending Week of Stress, then they ask me how I feel about it, and that’s happened often enough that I now give a stock answer. I say I won’t know…

I reported all my falls to the neurologist and he said, “Yoga.” This is not the first time he has recommended yoga. This is not the first time I have considered yoga. I have purchased three yoga mats and then purged three yoga mats years later. He says that it will help me with my…

This year’s mammogram was a mix of new and old and new. The new: for the last few months of health appointments, I have checked in, sat down in the waiting room, and the moment my butt hits the chair a door opens and my name is called. I can only guess it’s the check-in…

I apologize for yet another entry in the Illness category, but it was destined to be a blog about health this week. In one five day stretch I scheduled two tests, one office visit, two vaccinations, and one procedure with one day of prep. On top of all that, the neurologist’s office called to tell…

I haven’t had a colonoscopy for years. I did have a luminous white angelic polyp at the last one. This time I had two: a benign white one “like a skin tag,” and a red one that was a “typical pre-cancerous polyp.” Yawn, typical potential cancer, nothing to see here. Taste of prep: It was…

I had another lovely visit with the neurologist, as always. Notable events: He measured my liver numbers, as he usually does, but I gave him an extra reminder because the GP’s office was particularly concerned. Turns out the liver is fine and simply didn’t like the statin for my cholesterol. The drug I take may…

Well, I’ve got this colonoscopy coming up in a week and a half and I considered which wig shall be my assigned colonoscopy wig. Then it occurred to me that there are probably rules for these things. Evidently there are. “Leave your wig at home.” Somehow I never considered that. I thought, at worst, a…

So there is free testosterone and bound testosterone (depending on if it is bound to protein). As reported earlier, the bound testosterone was fine, but Dr. ChatGPT says my free testosterone of “0.58 ng/dL … equates to 58 pg/mL [or] significantly elevated … roughly 20x the usual free testosterone level for a woman your age.”…