Category: In Which We Mock Our Illness

We had our physicals yesterday, so of course that means today was all about the text alerts. Boop. “You have new test results. Click here to go to MyChart.” It really should say, “Click here to go to ChatGPT with a brief layover in MyChart where you copy any abnormal high or low numbers, then…

Well! Who knew that if a person dutifully fills out a survey for twenty years, she will eventually get a summary consisting of three line charts? All are self-assessed. One shows Mental Quality of Life. (High numbers are good.) One shows Physical Quality of Life. (High numbers are good. Yes! I know! I see it…

Well, I had a novel experience yesterday. I was getting ready to run Gary to the hospital for a blood test. (An aside: He passed the blood test. My personal friend the Prostate is in peak form again.) While I was getting ready I got an optic migraine. (An aside: My first one (reported here)…

I feel like I’m always at one doctor’s office or another. Urologist every three months, GP every year, neurologist every year, it’s a lot. “I need you to see a dermatologist once a year,” the neurologist said last week. “Oh, come ON.” “You’ve been on this medicine since 2007, when the clinical trial began, and…

Since I’m on the three-month schedule, I’ve had theee doses of the bladder botox now. The last one was two weeks ago. Dose 1 Pain: Hurt like someone poking needles in your bladder. Concurrent Chit-chat: Bad Diagnostic tests. Results: Heaven. 80% improvement. Still triggered by some things; still had rage pees if Gary provoked me.…

I was really surprised to get a letter from the Mayo Clinic, and even more surprised to see it contained a note thanking me for participating in their clinical trial. “Well, good for me,” I thought. “When did I do that?” I didn’t take a dozen tests for the Mayo Clinic like I did for…

Good lord. Missouri has high Covid wastewater activity. I wanted to leave the house and go see a movie, damnit. What defines “high” though? Higher than ever seen? Or high compared to others, which might be relatively low?

I have hurt my right rotator cuff three times. In addition to giving me shoulder advice, the new physical therapist lady corrected my work posture. I’ve been slouching and not putting all my weight on my “sit bones”. I know of my sit bones because they are tethered to my pelvic floor, which has taken…

I got two UTI tests in as many weeks. Both test came back clear, which made me wonder if I am some kind of UTI hyper-specific hypochondriac. Now I have decided I just wasn’t drinking enough water, which also contributed to my belief that the recent bladder botox was ineffective. It was effective, I just…

Actress Teri Garr has died of MS. She was diagnosed around the same time I was. I vaguely remember the TV guide article in which (I believe) she said she wanted people to know that it was okay, that you can have a mild case of MS. She did have an aneurysm a few years…