I haven’t had a colonoscopy for years. I did have a luminous white angelic polyp at the last one. This time I had two: a benign white one “like a skin tag,” and a red one that was a “typical pre-cancerous polyp.” Yawn, typical potential cancer, nothing to see here.
Taste of prep: It was something called “PlenVu.” It wasn’t even remotely sickening until I chugged 16 oz of it. It was prescribed with an anti-nausea pill.
Efficacy of prep: This stuff is delivered in two doses.
- One is the evening before and it gets rid of the clutter. Anything solid is targeted, noisily turned into goo, and then hustled on out.
- The second dose starts at THREE A.M. YES THREE IN THE FREAKING MORNING. It takes four hours and if the previous dose was de-cluttering, this dose is power-washing.I recall enduring the power-washing and thinking, “If I don’t have cancer after all this I’ll be really pissed off.” I walked that back immediately, but it was there for a moment.
The procedure itself: Notable in that I dreamt I was in a green and black forest. The dream was so convincing that when I came back to consciousness I was utterly astonished that I was in a hospital.
Afterward: I had two tiny blueberry mini-muffins. And then rice. And fiber cookies. And brisket and mashed potatoes. And THEN my body said, “Let’s use bowel gas to propel each of these foods forward and BACK in a gurgly tug of war for sixty minutes.”
It’s over though, and I don’t have to do it again for seven whole years.
5 responses to “Colonoscopy 2025!”
YAY for a lack of cancer! Did they yoink the polyp?
Also, yes, colonoscopy prep, y’all. Sigh.
Good to know re: post-colonoscopy gurgly tug-of-war. Sigh. It may be time to give those guts some probiotics to replace those that were power-washed out?
YAY for a lack of cancer! Did they yoink the polyp?
Also, yes, colonoscopy prep, y’all. Sigh.
Good to know re: post-colonoscopy gurgly tug-of-war. Sigh. It may be time to give those guts some probiotics to replace those that were power-washed out?
KC – Thanks for the reminder. I think I bought some probiotic drink for after.
Glad to hear that it’s over. The results sound about the best that one could expect. I mean, they are always going to find something in there, aren’t they?
Colonoscopy prep is just torture. Science has GOT to invent a better way. I’ve had the procedure twice in my life, and both times was NOT normal, digestive-tractily speaking, for DAYS afterward. I am shouting those words. They lie and cheerily tell you “you can have anything for breakfast after your colonoscopy is done.” No, thanks. Please take me home to be near the bathroom for several more days. After the most recent one last year (I did my prep starting on Mother’s Day, because I detest Mother’s Day), I contracted a UTI following.
The most humiliating thing to me was that, after the colonoscopy, the doctor’s notes said, “bowel preparation was adequate.” No, dammit! It was STELLAR bowel preparation. Do not shame my bowel preparation that I suffered so much for.
CHM – Gary and I both had a score of 9 out of 9. But I think a big part is how fast one’s bowels move in general. And I did read in the fine print that if you have something like inflammatory bowel disease that you can get an MRI to look for polyps.