Category: In Which We Mock Our Illness

About four hours ago I threw out my arm. I’ve thrown out my back plenty of times. You know that your back is out because without warning some muscle springs out of place, sudden pain, and now your legs don’t work. Well, I was typing away, and then suddenly I sprang a muscle, awful pain,…

At work there is a set of moderately heavy doors outside the parking garage. I routinely have to up my stride because someone is holding the door for me, and thus I have to hustle, because I am weak and lame, and such is the social contract: make the lame run. Recently a woman saw…

It’s been a month since this dust bunny cobweb floater showed up in my right eye. After my first visit to the ophthalmologist (a month ago) I was told to take it easy (for a month) and come back (in a month). In four days the flashing was gone, so I thought in another week…

Here I am, clocking my six-month visit with the neurologist Gary and I share. I’ve been communicating with the doctor’s office on my husband’s behalf to straighten out some dosing confusion brought on by Gary’s exponential math. I also spent a little time discussing Gary’s rash and joked that I might just switch him to…

This week I learned a number of things about posterior viterous detachment. I did get it checked out, like an ADULT, and it is the less serious of the two. It seems I’ll be looking at this little dust bunny in my right eye for the next month at least. Oh, and whhhhhhhyyy whhhhhyyyyy meeeee?…

I understand the neurologist needs to track all the side effects of my very effective MS drug. Hence, the bonus annual dermatologist visit and the twice-yearly ophthalmologist visit. I get it. Really, I do. I visited the ophthalmologist in the summer, where we got a baseline reading for my visual field with the most enjoyable…

Are you sick? I recommend these practices to make you feel better.

Not Covid. Not flu A or B. Must be RSv. God I am siiick.

One would think that taking a day off to visit the dentist and the urologist would be sufficient, but no. Urologist The urologist visit was a straightforward bladder botox procedure. I advised him that our previous conversation — about the impending TeddyJ reduction in force — was not salacious enough to distract me from the…