Category: In Which We Mock Our Illness

WSJ:Here’s my shout out in the Wall Street Journal: The maker of the clinical trial drug I’ve been testing (FTY720) is going to file for FDA approval. I think it takes 6 months to a year for the FDA to do the final evaluation and interviews and make the decision. And supposedly during that time…

I was curious when the Fingolimod trial nurse called and said I needed to talk with her before I started the extension phase of the trial. I’m going to complete my first 2-year phase in January, so now I go into the extension phase. Saint Louisans: they closed Highway Forty when I started this, that’s…

Went to the Newrologist today. He was putting me through the heel-to-toe tests, and asked me, “Go to that back wall and walk toward me on your heels.” As I got close to him he said, “Go back and do it on your toes.” I teetered on my heels a moment. I heard Paul McCartney…

I treated myself to a three-hour superiority feast this evening. A&Es Hoarders, followed by an hour of Hoarders. Topped off by a little treat. Hoarders. I am not a hoarder. I just cleaned out the refrigerator at Mom’s, for example. I know, she’s been dead for a year and a half now. Shut up! A…

My neuropsychiatrist appointment was at 2:00 today. Usually I listen to Get in Line on the way there; this time I forgot. This is what we call foreshadowing. Saint Johns MERCY! Medical Center is undergoing renovations, so I had to come in the back way. And so, it was a hunt to find my usual…

This coming week it will have been one month since the last holy visitation by our Lady of the Labia and her miraculous stigmata of the Cooter. Will my crotch weep tears of blood every four weeks? It is a little like Mary appearing every month to the children at Fatima. We shall see. Given…

Today, I met a new doctor. A new doctor to do an old test: standard neuro exam for the clinical trial. Touch my nose, touch your nose, grab my fingers, walk in a straight line. Two things stood out: 1) To measure my level of spasticity, the doctor manipulated my wrists, ankles, and knees. “Not…

The doctor now says I do not have a bladder infection. They were wrong. ============================= Clarification: I don’t have anything else taking its place, either. Oh, and I don’t have Herpes, thanks for that test. Essentially I have a constant low fever and labia that swell, seep blood, and then settle down again. Of course,…

Today’s stupidity is brought to you by the letters “L” and “N”. (That joke never works unless you say it out loud. I’m “LNSku-mid-it” on Twitter, and if you found me on Twitter I’m sorry, I suck. And I am stupid.) I’m going to be specific and honest (no!) and, without going to Wikipedia, I’m…

Safety Look at this fine tshirt I saw here: Health 1 Awwww man. I went to the three-month Day of the Doctors today and mentioned I had only two visits left before I go on the extension phase of the trial. “Yes!” the nurse said, “And then it all starts over again!” IT ALL STARTS…