Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Category: In Which We Mock Our Husband

  • TWIL: Electric cars can still cause garage fires

    I have charged my car in our garage for three years. The nose of the car is pointed toward the house and the heat from the charge is directed at the garage refrigerator. And all was well for years. Gary charges his car the same way, but it is bigger, more batteries, and when you…

  • Oh Let’s Hope Not

    So supposedly the trial people were going to call end of this week. They did not call. Just as I wondered, huh, why wouldn’t they call, I read that theres a new variant of Covid. I remembered the Omicron variant rendered the previous incarnation of the trial drug useless. And even though this new drug…

  • TWIL: Cipro Can Kill You

    Gary’s guilt over the bladder infection drove him to the Facebook and the internet, and he came back with news that a common antibiotic used for bladder infections, Cipro, can destroy your tendons and probably even kill you. “They stopped giving me Cipro years ago,” I said. “You know, probably because of the tendon thing.”…

  • Proposal

    Being sick sometimes makes me think of the first time Gary proposed to me. I was at his apartment, in bed, apologizing for having suddenly having fallen ill with the flu. He was getting me a washcloth, and said he was happy to take care of me, and that he wanted to take care of…

  • Rough

    It’s Sex Week here on the old blog. Yet another post about my current preoccupation. And really, I’m sorry. Because this time it’s about porn. I think we all know the tradeoff between frequency and speed when it comes to a person’s alone time. Now that I’m only giving myself mere hours of recovery time…

  • Sneaking in Some Illicit Housework

    The closest I come to cheating on Gary is when I do chores behind his back. I remember when I repaired the toilet I hid the replacement flapper under the mattress. This month I’ve been sneaking about repairing a water spot in the ceiling. He’s gone, I get out the ladder, I use the Killz,…

  • Lume Deodorant

    Gary screams whenever MSNBC plays this commercial. And they play it hourly, if not more. Yesterday morning he came out of the bathroom holding our shared speed stick deodorant. He had a demented look in his eye. “What did I do?” I sighed, because I quite often do things wrong with our shared sanitary items.…

  • Gary and the Grand Passion

    Gary and I were watching Sleepless in Seattle, and Meg Ryan was talking about the “magic” that happens when you meet “the one.” “Did we have the magic?” I asked Gary. “I don’t remember.” He said, “We had the magic at first. But then, you know, the magic always fades.” And then he rubbed my…

  • Gary And Stress

    Street work is going on outside our house. Evidently the lifespan of a suburban street built by the contractor’s son-in-law is about 30 years. We got the note in the mailbox that in four days our stretch of the nepo-street is to be re-poured, and we cant use our driveway. So we must park on…

  • Civilization Continues to Decay

    Civilization has gone to hell. First we had the Clydesdales falling over themselves, then the champagne carpet. Now, twice in the past week, I have been conversing with my husband when has gone into the bathroom, and from the clarity of his tone it has been evident he has not closed the bathroom door. And…