Category: In Which We Mock Our Husband

Gary and I were watching the Women’s Short Ice Skating program when he went behind me into the kitchen to get some toast. A few minutes later, the toast popped up (and out on to the wood floor, because that’s how we indirectly get toast crumbs to the dogs) and I heard: thump thump thump…

I went to Ken’s birthday party this past weekend. He is now eighty-one. We got him a cane. Very high-tech. Very Top-of-the-Line. Surprisingly, he accepted it and promised to use it, instead of using his preferred method of coping with balance problems: “Tuck and Roll.” We were a little concerned when we walked in because…

It is Valentine’s Day soon, and that means Gary has to find a Valentine’s Day gift for his Mom. Not for you, his wife? you ask. No. Twenty years ago, the first or second Valentines Day were were together, we were shopping at the candy store and Gary picked up a heart-shaped box of milk…

So, Marcia and I went tonight to see Brokeback Mountain. (Hot man-on-man action.) Afterward, I decided to go home and get a kiss from my husband. I had stopped by his car since his work is on the way to the theater and write “Sex God” and “I (heart) Gary” in the window dirt. So…

Gary and I have opposing views on illness, pain, and the like. I was taught by Mr. and Mrs. Stoic to bite your lip and show no pain, even if you have cancer or polio. Gary was taught by his parents that if you have a fever you get the TV in your room and…

Gary and I have been walking the Katy Trail. This is how Gary enjoys the beauties of nature: wildflowers: “There must be a dead body buried there. That’s what makes wildflowers bloom in a patch like that.” reeds by the river: “If an escaped convict chased us into the river we could use those reeds…

We anticipated it was going to rain and scheduled the trail ride for 10:30 am. My and Arzaana-fay’s horse’s were, like they ourselves, gentle and docile creatures who took direction and did as they were told. Gary’s horse, Gunsmoke, tolerated Gary for about half an hour and then began to adopt his personality traits. At…

Gary’s Dad, Ken, just recently had a scare about his prostate. The morning after Ken’s yearly physical, he was out mowing the lawn when the doctor called and demanded he come in and get a battery of tests, since the results from his yearly blood tests were very bad. The doctor even specifically said, “Stop…

Gary, at the age of 45 and 11/12ths, decided to purchase a stereo to replace the one his parents gave him when he was nine (and I was one.) One day he just showed up with a stereo. It made him feel so good, the next day he brought home the rest of an entire…