It’s Sex Week here on the old blog. Yet another post about my current preoccupation. And really, I’m sorry. Because this time it’s about porn.
I think we all know the tradeoff between frequency and speed when it comes to a person’s alone time. Now that I’m only giving myself mere hours of recovery time instead of weeks, it’s just taking too much time, so I have turned to porn to move things along, for God’s sake.
This is nice ladylike porn. “Porn by women” is the tag line. No really weird stuff. Lots of kissy stuff. Slow kissy stuff. Really really slow kissy stuff.
“Oh my god,” I thought. “Pick up the pace.” Click. Ah, there are different categories. I bounced around the categories. Slow threesomes. Slow hot guys.
However, The “Rough” category seemed — at first — to have a reasonable tempo. In fact, it all seemed very familiar. Women are repositioned, rotated, tossed in the air like pizza dough. You know. What I would call “sex.”
“GARY!” I bellowed. “WHY DOES THE INTERNET SAY WE HAVE ‘ROUGH’ SEX?”
He just came into the room, head low in shame, then he pantomimed some rough sex and scuttled away.
So, who knew? I didn’t. I don’t have any other all-out lover for comparison purposes. I suppose Gary and I started out slow, with negotiations and polite requests, then we just transitioned into the soft version of the rough category. Wouldn’t it be awful if I visited some crazy place like PornHub and found out that there’s an arcane category for something else he’s convinced me is normal?
2 responses to “Rough”
I mean. If it’s working for both people, it does not *especially* matter whether everyone else would like doing the same thing.
(but that’s hilarious. especially the scuttling.)
KC – What we need is a Cosmo quiz that asks “what PornHub category are you?”