Category: In Which We Mock Ourselves

Nausea: At the end of week three, the nausea is minimal. I can eat slowly, and as long as I don’t eat anything after seven, I’m okay. Hunger: Lord, I am so, so hungry now that I’m not as nauseated. I also know I’m a stress-eater, and this week has been pretty stressful on all…

I’m starting week 2 of the Zepbound now. Ignore all anecdotal evidence your friends tell you. Listen to me, your one true friend. Or listen to my sources who have more than one week of experience. We are unflinching. What your friends say: You will lose ten pounds a month. What I say: Factor in…

There is a nasty combination when you are well into your sixties: at least for women. Well, at least for me. There’s an increase in appetite – all the appetites – coupled sadly with a decrease in drama. Looking forward to eating the dinner you planned to make? It will be good, but not as…

So last April, I climbed up to the left top edge of this sage green painted wall, so I could fix the sloppy paint job Gary had done. But when I got up there, I found I had fixed it already. Evidently. Last week I glanced up and found that the sloppy paint was back.…

I have evidently lost all skill in painting. Or perhaps my assigned painting time doesn’t line up with my eye-hand coordination days. Or perhaps I need to stop if I have painted something for two hours. Anyway, I decided if I can’t get joy from painting I can get joy from buying things to paint.…

I was thinking about the marital arguments we once had. Well, I was longing for the marital arguments we once had. They were so much calmer than the current arguments. And they always stemmed from the same straightforward source: abandonment. Not there when I came home. Calling to say he wouldn’t be home. Not calling…

As I went in to cash the house sale check, a poltergeist spirit sent by Dave from the great beyond knocked me down. Or perhaps it was nothing to do with Dave, and just the rumpled weather mat outside the revolving door, but in a second my knees hit the sidewalk, then my hands, then…

Back in 2009, in the early days of this blog, I wrote a post expressing my frustrations with how things change and I am not told. “You know what? It’s probably broadcast in that frequency only young people can hear, except no, I just clicked that link and that is a really obnoxious noise. Don’t…

Last week I got a package from Amazon. I was walking toward the door, when I heard her repeatedly ring the doorbell. DING DING DINGDINGDING. “Yeesh, fine,” I said, as I opened the door. “Are you okay?” the Amazon driver said, as she put up her hands as if to protect herself. “Yes. Yes I…

Things are not at all comfort and joy here at the house. Spirit Christmas is coming but there is no spirit. I do have one of the illuminated reindeer out, and he is wearing the mailbox wreath around his neck because frankly, I am doing the minimum this year. Really good chance I won’t put…