Category: In Which We Mock Ourselves

Over the weekend I was tooling along the winding country road that leads to acceptable bagels, an oxymoron if I ever heard one, and I called Gary with this report: “Dead armadillo where the subdivision hits the road. Repeat. Dead armadillo.” We saw one as we drove to Memphis in 2007, then heard of another…

I was so pleased with my new straight teeth. Then the dentist saw them and, I don’t know, evidently felt they could be straighter? Or perhaps they are straight yet still too crowded? I am not sure. This means that my previous 16 weeks of plastination will now extend another eight weeks. The mouth sensation…

So these last four years I’ve avoided wigs with volume. I have thin hair, God cursed me with it, it would be hubris to question Him. Then, I heard of this wig that had epic amounts of volume. Trusted Wig reviewers said this wig was huge. It came. I think it needs some tweaking, but…

First off, I began my trip to the astronomy park with gutter-low expectations. I told myself: In reality: I shouldn’t have worried, because the view finder was at the top of the step-stool. (By the way, you can see by the clouds sunset is coming in. The club often assembles in the hopes that if…

So is the Great Wattle Hypothesis proven? Did the Pricey Cream earn its keep durimg the 16-week experiment? 8 weeks right side, 8 weeks left and right side. First, the baseline chart, or Wattle Through the Ages. Here is the photographic benchmark, week 1 for the 16 week time period. And here is the result…

This is where my room was: This coffee was the only familiar food I ate. The rest was paella and ramen and Palestinian food and of course that huge meal the first day. I also went to see the Mucha exhibit, saw comedians John Mulaney and Mike Birbiglia, touched a sea urchin at the aquarium,…

I tried to up my phone game as well as my transportation game. Two mitigated successes. Early failure, then success: I did have to try two times, but eventually I got my Apple Pay to work. I didn’t realize I needed to open the Wallet app first to use Apple Pay, it seems like I’d…

One of my favorite travel memories is one of Gary’s least favorite memories. Gary was recovering from an emergency gallbladder surgery, worst vacation nightmare manifested. He threw me out of the hospital room, and there I was, on my own, and I wanted to go far afield. I think I caught a bus to the…

A man in the hotel elevator commented on how hot it was outside. ”It hasn’t felt hot to me,” I said. “But then, I have been through menopause and know what hot really feels like.” (This was followed by the slighttest of pauses before I apologized for the TMI, and he said, “Oh no, I…

I did paint Thursday, just it was watercolors. The hotel offers “experiences” and this month’s experience was watercolor painting. I have no evidence because I left it behind. The instructor took photos; perhaps an email is in the offing. The instructor’s grandmother also painted china like my great-aunt Rosemary. I was not thrilled with the…