Category: In Which We Mock Ourselves

I am aged, and I like it. I particularly enjoy the compliments. After living with an average body and a face not worthy of note, I find that I really enjoy hearing people comment that I don’t look 64. This happens a fair amount in Saint Louis. I find it happens regularly when I ask…

These last two sorties out to Kansas City and to Chicago have been solo. They are cities, and cities are not always safe after dark. Kansas City was easy. I had only one night where I had any business being out of my hotel, and my niece and her husband were kind enough to shuttle…

So, this hotel has two robots (Leo and Cleo) who respond to guest requests for select room service items: snacks, salads, or towels or soap. I arrived day one at 8:30 p.m., which, I know this now, is prime robot time, while the restaurant is open. I walked past them in their home positions in…

This wee suitcase contains eight days of clothing, seven evening meals (see yesterday’s post), one rain-ready wig (thank you hurricane season), one fancy all-black ensemble WITH shoes for Operation Mincemeat and the 3-star dinner, and all my medicines and devices (the phone attachment that documents my tooth straightening compliance is in the mesh bag). Spunky…

Over the weekend I was tooling along the winding country road that leads to acceptable bagels, an oxymoron if I ever heard one, and I called Gary with this report: “Dead armadillo where the subdivision hits the road. Repeat. Dead armadillo.” We saw one as we drove to Memphis in 2007, then heard of another…

I was so pleased with my new straight teeth. Then the dentist saw them and, I don’t know, evidently felt they could be straighter? Or perhaps they are straight yet still too crowded? I am not sure. This means that my previous 16 weeks of plastination will now extend another eight weeks. The mouth sensation…

So these last four years I’ve avoided wigs with volume. I have thin hair, God cursed me with it, it would be hubris to question Him. Then, I heard of this wig that had epic amounts of volume. Trusted Wig reviewers said this wig was huge. It came. I think it needs some tweaking, but…

First off, I began my trip to the astronomy park with gutter-low expectations. I told myself: In reality: I shouldn’t have worried, because the view finder was at the top of the step-stool. (By the way, you can see by the clouds sunset is coming in. The club often assembles in the hopes that if…

So is the Great Wattle Hypothesis proven? Did the Pricey Cream earn its keep durimg the 16-week experiment? 8 weeks right side, 8 weeks left and right side. First, the baseline chart, or Wattle Through the Ages. Here is the photographic benchmark, week 1 for the 16 week time period. And here is the result…

This is where my room was: This coffee was the only familiar food I ate. The rest was paella and ramen and Palestinian food and of course that huge meal the first day. I also went to see the Mucha exhibit, saw comedians John Mulaney and Mike Birbiglia, touched a sea urchin at the aquarium,…