Category: In Which We Mock Our In-Laws

A perfect storm of in-law crisis is brewing at the S_____ house this weekend. They have planned all of these activities for Saturday: 1. Niece birthday 2. Nephew birthday 3. Father-in-law birthday (because hey, we don’t have to spend money on Christmas for the kids, so we are loaded when January comes around) 4. Valentine’s…

Arhan-fay turned 21, and Arzaana-fay turned 16, so they came in town from KC and were feted. Arzaana-fay had asked for a “MP3 player, nothing expensive, nothing fancy.” So when Gary started talking about getting her an iPod Nano I quoted the “nothing expensive or fancy” back at him and showed him the documentation. He…

Oooo, boy howdy. Are we in trouble. Gary and I are going to Hell. Catholic Hell. Charismatic Catholic Hell. Gary’s Mom is condemning us to C.C.Hell because of the nudity issue. The nudity we will embrace on the BNL cruise. See, Gary told them of the nudity on the heels of their daily downer phone…

I’ve always been so jealous during national elections. One of the coasts will have the big issue, or someone else votes on gay marriage, and all the Sunday morning talk shows ignore Missouri because we don’t have the hot topic. But now, the stem cell initiative has made us the flavor of the month. Michael…

It amazes me how little Gary knows about his Dad’s family. He can report his paternal grandmother was diabetic, both grandparents were 100% German, and all Lutheran. And sadly, Gary’s Uncle Gene has died. Uncle Gene was married to Gary’s aunt Bernice, Ken’s sister. This is definite. Gary HAS an Aunt Bernice. He HAD an…

Gary visited his family while I visited my mom today, and while things were exciting at the Queen Mother’s as she gathered her servants, Gary reported the S_____ family was abuzz with chaos and other such goings-on. In particular, he had two crises to report. Crisis Story #1: Karen, Mr. Wonderful, and their dogs George…

So last week I pulled a flea off of Mac. And you know, for every flea you see there are ten fleas you don’t see. It’s just like mice (and we counted the mouse corpses and this ratio is not approximate). Of course, I doused Mac with the prescription flea stuff. Fleas dead in twelve…

Well, the visit of the niece and nephew was punctuated by some War Fallout. Arhan-fay and Arzaana-fay were walking with us in the mall, and a family walked past us in the other direction, led by a pot-bellied man. As he passed, I saw my niece’s head whip around and her jaw dropped open, and…