I’ve always been so jealous during national elections. One of the coasts will have the big issue, or someone else votes on gay marriage, and all the Sunday morning talk shows ignore Missouri because we don’t have the hot topic. But now, the stem cell initiative has made us the flavor of the month. Michael J. Fox and Rush Limbaugh are arguing in ads shown in Missouri. Cool! We actually count.
I’m even excited about the billboard I saw yesterday that said nothing but “STOP HUMAN CLONING! Vote No on Prop 2.”
Well, the issue came even closer to home today. Gary paid a visit to his Charismatic Catholic parents. Any guesses on their views on stem cells? Anyone? Class?
I wasn’t there, but judging from all the shrieking and hopping about that Gary was doing while he told the story, I’d say they aren’t big fans of the proposition because, as they explained (sort of rationally, it seemed) to Gary:
1) Human Clones? They have no souls! An army of clones! Ewww! Creepy!
2) Women will sell their eggs!
3) Women will sell their embryos!
“MS!” Gary screamed, “They could cure MS! Ellen HAS MS!” (Evidently this bothers Gary much more than it bothers me.)
“Oh, they’ll never cure MS,” his parents scoffed.
“THEY CAN’T CURE MS BUT THEY CAN MAKE AN ARMY OF CLONES?” Gary screamed like a woman.
I think this is the first time I’ve ever heard of Gary taking my side over his parents’. This is so great! I feel liberated. I could, oh, sell my eggs, since I’m not using them, and then make my own personal army of clones, I’m so happy.
“THEM! MY PARENTS!” Gary shrieked at me, “THEY ARE THE ARMY OF CLONES!” Then he began goose-stepping around the great room as I rolled off the couch giggling.
I think it’s awful the in-laws are denying life to those poor unborn clones. And what’s so bad about an army of clones? Really, let’s think this out. Who says they’re going to join the army? Picture this: baby clones, just identical twins really, so damn cute. Then they grow up; go to school at some government institution. Then they turn fifteen. Who do they rebel against? “Mom and Dad?” Who are they? They rebel against the government. No clone’s going into the government, or the army. You know what they’re going to do. They’ll take over the jobs from the illegal immigrants.
5 responses to “Revenge of the Clones!”
Gary has redeemed himself. Gee, I wish we could go to the video of that.
That’s probably the best stem-cell research topic post I’ve ever read.”Soulless clones.”Heh. As if Limbaugh has a soul. Keep up the good fight! (and congrats on the Series, although no one in Arizona really cared – sorry).
Clones wouldn’t have souls?Damn.Then again, you just proved my point about the girlys being evil.
Well, bless Gary’s pea-pickin’ heart! I knew I liked that man!Didja hear the latest? Limbaugh claims The Media™ sped up the film of his imitating MJF. Never mind that his voice level is normal and speech matches his mouth movements. Oxy-moron.
OMG. THIS. IS. QUALITY. How did I NOT find your blog sooner? Love it.