Category: In Which We Mock Our Illness

I had an MRI recently, and it was full of firsts. First MRI without contrast. I always get two passes through the MRI machine: pass one, and then they pull me out and push the “Contrast” solution through me so that — literally — the images of the new lesions will show up in higher…

Earlier, I signed up to be in the NARCOMS database of people with MS who have DNA and can spit. The scientific spitting supplies have arrived! Tube for spit: VERY exciting baggie to hold the spit: And there are instructions that I must put the tube of spit in the exciting baggie and take the…

I got my yearly mammogram. I have never in my life had such a stellar mammogram experience. I parked well, I arrived early, I was in the first waiting room less than five minutes, changed, in the second waiting room less than five minutes. I even got to use my no-gown mammogram hack again. And…

The neurologist’s assistant said I was 233 pounds. “Impossible,” I said, “That’s down, and I’ve been eating like a pig since my cat died.” So then we talked about Goldie, and how sad Gary and I are. Then she tidied up, and went to inform on me to the doctor. (I’m not mad. That’s part…

I watched the Olympics for six hours last weekend without using the bathroom. This morning I was tested to see I wasn’t holding on to my urine and never giving it up, and no I am not. In fact, I was surprised to hear I still had a cup or two in there even after…

NARCOMS (North American Research Committee on Multiple Sclerosis) is a group that maintains a database of people with MS. I’ve filled out their on-line questionnaire dutifully for decades now. They use that data as the basis for research papers such asMeasures of general and abdominal obesity and disability severity in a large population of people…

This week I encountered two new ways of looking at MS. I’m going to run these by the neurologist at the end of the month. (First, I need to see if he covered either in his podcast.) ================ First new way of looking at MS: MOGAD So, per this link, MOGAD is “an autoimmune disorder…

When I was young, I was shy and modest. “Impossible,” you scoff. “You’re a vulgar inappropriate whore who barfs up all her business on to the internet.” “Harsh, but true,” I say. “Yet both statements are accurate.” In my youth I was always modest: shying from attention in my childhood bathing suit, covering my chest…

I bought a measuring device and my output has doubled. Only a drip of leakage. No one said I’d be leak-proof. No promises there. I sleep through the night for five out of seven nights without getting up. That was not promised. And best of all … I said something to Gary as I was…

The Botox is definitely having an effect. Not the effect I was expecting, but it’s only just shy of a week. (I’ve read it takes two weeks to really lock in.) Here’s what’s different. The ease. I wake up, close the bathroom door, sit down, and instantly what feels like a weighty amount of urine…