Body work begets body work

One would think that taking a day off to visit the dentist and the urologist would be sufficient, but no.

Urologist

The urologist visit was a straightforward bladder botox procedure. I advised him that our previous conversation — about the impending TeddyJ reduction in force — was not salacious enough to distract me from the needles poking deep into my bladder. I asked if we could revisit whatever trash was on TLC, and he did say there was a show that followed a urologist, but then he soon veered the conversation into how he dislikes putting up the Christmas tree.

Afterward, I did a little debrief and said today’s topic was a better distraction than work re-orgs but not as salacious as I needed. I suggested next time we investigate the Epstein files and how small all those men’s organs must be to require sex with a seventeen year old to be able to get any traction. He wisely side-stepped that entire topic.

(But really, they must be tiny. Right?)

Dentist

The dentist pointed out yet another chip in my front teeth, again as a result of some tooth-vs-tooth scrum going on in my face. So tomorrow I go in to have that chip patched, and then be measured for Invisalign – style retainers. This is the third time he’s suggested it. It seems much more reasonable now: until recently I couldn’t imagine having to take out a retainer for half an hour every time I snagged a grape or swigged a drink. The weight-loss shots have cut down on my grape-snagging and drink swigging entirely.

So, this is 63: braces instead of dentures and bladder botox instead of diapers.