Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Category: In Which We Mock Our Illness

  • State of the Sickness

    I felt for a while that I might have the croup forever. Like long covid, only long croup. But now I am improvimg. Why do I suspect that I am better? I haven’t taken cough medicine for days, and all I have is an occasional cough. Sadly, my bladder is still wobbly, and the new…

  • Again I Am Spartacus

    Some of you may remember when I participated in the clinical trial for Gilenya, the first MS pill. (The saga starts here, back in 2007.) I was Spartacus, or at least Tony Curtis taking the hit for Spartacus, or at least an MS patient testing a drug that might help other MS patients. Ten or…

  • Stupid Croup

    Or rather, stupid human parainfluenza virus #1. That’s the virus that causes croup. However, I find when I tell people I have parainfluenza they think I have something worse than influenza, oddly. Croup is for babies. Babies with wee windpipes that can be narrowed by the croup. Supposedly adults have big yawning windpipes and can’t…

  • Croup, Again

    Oh, good lord, I’ve caught the croup again. Last time I had to cancel a party. This time at least I have no parties planned. Well, except the party in my pants, which the croup is successfully suppressing. It was just my little cat cough until yesterday morning, when it deepened in tone and came…

  • Portrait of the Blogger as a Young Man: Over?

    I have not fluttered for three straight days. Can it be over? Have the spasms been quelled? I don’t feel the constant pulse anymore. Now it’s an intermittent pulse. I am still unable to concentrate. Distraction was the first symptom to appear, so I suppose it’s the last to go. The question, I suppose, will…

  • Portrait of the Blogger as a Young Man: Perspective Edition

    As you know, I am settling down just a little, in that one day in three is normal. On that day in three, men are mere men. Then for two days Satan occupies my lower torso, and every man looks as good as President Macron to me. You know who else looks good to me…

  • Portrait of the Blogger as a Young Man: Toy Review

    Sex toy review. Because we haven’t done that for a while. So with this new increase in activity I was genuinely concerned about damaging my favorite body part. Worried I was wearing it down from a nub into a nothing. That’s why I decided to try this Puff device, which employs a pull technique instead…

  • Portrait of the Blogger as a Young Man: Porn Twin

    Porn (ethically-sourced, consensual and lord-so-out-of-character porn) seems to have odd effects on me. If it isn’t making me sleepy from the repetition, it makes me nostalgic. “I remember that,” I think, “I remember doing that back in the day.” I began to notice that one particular male porn star made me … extra nostalgic. “What…

  • Portrait of the Blogger as a Young Man: Freaky Friday Sunday

    I am sorry to keep going on about this, but I feel obliged to share my experience now that I am living the plot of Freaky Friday. Only I’m not swapping bodies with my mom, but with the horniest 20 year old guy who ever horned. (You know, any time I thought of people with…

  • Urologist Visit

    I have been to this urologist before, in 2011, and the tests were rigorous waterboarding tests in which I was pumped full of fluids and asked to Kegel as if my life depended on it. I did some quick Kegels out in the parking lot, just to warm up, and went in ready for the…