Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Putting the TMI in absentminded

Category: In Which We Mock Our Illness

  • TWIL: What it’s Like

    Gary didn’t feel I should tell the urologist about my amped-up sex drive, but I thought it was germane. That’s how I presented it to the doctor. “So, since I made the appointment, I have a new symptom. Stop me if it’s not germane, but …” And then I looked him in the eye, but…

  • Rough

    It’s Sex Week here on the old blog. Yet another post about my current preoccupation. And really, I’m sorry. Because this time it’s about porn. I think we all know the tradeoff between frequency and speed when it comes to a person’s alone time. Now that I’m only giving myself mere hours of recovery time…

  • Increasingly Increasing

    Since Monday’s post, in which I detailed my suffering under the invisible leash that Satan has tethered to my pelvis, things have become worse. One day my new twice-a-day habit failed to satisfy, and I bumped it up to thrice, and even so, I woke up from a bonus sex dream afterward. (It involved a…

  • Increase

    I am documenting here a change in the symptoms I have suffered as of late, so that later when I am diagnosed with a brain tumor I can point back to this post as the early signs of deterioration. My appetites have now spread from my upper abdomen to my lower, specifically the region from…

  • TWIL: Mental Illness

    Gary and I both read a horrifying article in the Washington post that suggested schizophrenia is an autoimmune disorder. If uou subscribe to them I recommend it.

  • Paxlovid Plan

    The CDC encourages me to have a Paxlovid plan. Here is my initial plan. It is a bad plan. If I leave the house, I will wear a mask and stay outdoors as much as possible, wash my hands, won’t touch my face. When I return I won’t wait for symptoms, I will take a…

  • Latest Neuro Visit

    Last week’s visit to the neurologist provided some notable neurology news.

  • ChatGPT

    I’ve heard about ChatGPT, the Artificial intelligence bot that ate up the internet until September 2021. You can ask it questions and it will respond in kind. Ask intimate questions and get intimate responses. Ask medical questions, get medical responses. I have steered clear of ChatGPT, because it’s an unknown, and I keep my iPad…

  • Weight

    I was expecting to hear something about my weight at my physical, given that I think I’ve gained 15 pounds since the last time I weighed myself. “You’ve gained 130 pounds since last October!” said the doctor. “That can’t be right.” I said. “Your weight last October was 120.” My weight in grade school was…

  • Body Donation

    Previously on Will Someone Take This Body, I discovered my body donation documents expired about a quarter of a century ago. However, I had a plan. First I needed to contact Barnes downtown and see if I could re-up. I described the situation to the coordinator of body donation there and he replied that day.…