Category: In Which We Mock Our Husband

Back in the day, Gary and I had Karaoke software on our old IBM PC, and we called it Garyoke. That PC died, and none of the replacement software had the Doris Day / Dean Martin songs we liked. Gary bought himself a Christmas present: one of those Alexa devices that has a video screen.…

On the right is my ornament, the Hot Wheels car to commemorate the purchase of the new car. On the left is Gary’s ornament, to commemorate … well, to commemorate a side effect of the pain medicine he took for his recent root canal and tooth extraction. I got to see a new … side…

Gary spent the week claiming that he was unable to chew because of his recently extracted tooth. “DO NOT MAKE ANY FOOD FOR ME FOR THANKSGIVING I CANT EAT ANYTHING NOT EVEN YAMS.’ Unfortunately I had already stocked up early on the Turkey Day supplies, and when I say supplies I mean items fully prepared…

Gary recently saw this post on Facebook. The headline is: Three ‘beloved’ snow leopards died of Covid complications at Nebraska zoo. “So they weren’t really beloved?” I asked Gary. “Are those, like, air quotes?’ “People use quotation marks to set things off now.” “I’ve seen that, but it’s wrong.” “They do it online, because you…

Gary was listening to the recent BMW commercialthat shows a family using their hime Alexa in their car. “LOOK AT THAT!” he said. “THAT’S A BMW! THAT’S WHAT WE SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT. WE COULD HAVE THE ALEXA IN THE CAR!” “Gary. That is what we bought. BMW owns Mini. We do have the Alexa in…

I submit the grocery shopping order once a week. I don’t add things directly to the shopping application, I still add them to the Alexa shopping list and then shop form the on the grocery store application. It’s an unnecessary extra step because I am too crotchety to change my ways, but at least I’m…

Months ago: Gary: “My nose is stuffed up. I need some Co-RICE-uh-din.” Me: “You need what?” Gary: (louder) “CO-RICE-UH-DIN.” Me: “Well then buy some?” Last Week: Gary: “We need to buy more Co-RICE-uh-din. We are almost out.” Me: “Show me.” Even after I showed him numerous commercials in which it is pronounced “co-ruh-CEE-din,” he will…

I don’t understand why, but Gary is watching football again. He played football in high school (and takes medication daily for the resulting brain injury). Still liked football. He followed the football Cardinals, of course, until they were cruelly traded to Arizona. Still liked football. He followed the LA Rams during the time they slummed…

I was walking through the great room, looking for a snack between meetings. “Ellen, look at the TV!” “It’s a commercial.” “No, look at the picture.” “What do you mean?” “Can’t you see? They downloaded more more colors.” Evidently, according to Gary, they have downloaded new colors to the television and the picture is significantly…

Since the first days of DVDs, Gary has stoutly refused to watch the commentary track. If I try to watch the commentary he leaves the room in protest. I can’t tell you why. No, it can’t be that last one — he gobbles up all those “Making of” documentaries. In fact, he has rediscovered his…