Category: Miscellaneous Mockery

Apocryphal of … posies? Apocryphal of …crap? You decide. I have always loved apocryphal stories. This stems from when I was six and the Queen Mother dropped me off to stay with her mother (the Dowager Queen). Mom would pull Grandciel aside (for that was her name, the Grandma Lucille, and that is how it…

I took a little break this morning from detailing how to blind 200,000 people at one time by adding water to your chemical pressure tank, and I checked out CNN because even hearing the same news over and over is better than daytime TV. Two things annoyed me: They showed the RBS commercial that states…

My family and I went to visit my grandma’s new apartment when I was 10 (almost 11). For some reason Grandma never turned the TV off when she had visitors, and it would stay on. I think she turned the volume down somewhat. This was a long visit (Long even by adult standards) and I…

I noticed that part of the Mini Cooper site has been nominated for a Webby award. It reminded me of when we were shopping for the Mini and had to electronically sign the terms and conditions on the site to submit our Mini order to the dealer. Buried in the TandC were stipulations that we…

Okay, well, we do. It’s May 12th. I even warned the token Mormon today and assured her it would be a celebration of her Mormonism, not really an Inquisition, much as the Girl’s Sabbath Out” was a celebration of Marcia’s Judaism. Well. Except the Church of the Latter Day Saints has even more quirky habits…

Let me tell you about my Aunt Rosemary. She’s a fun girl. She had a mastectomy and loves asking people if they can tell which is the fake boob. She recently had lipstick and eyeliner permanently tattooed on. She kisses and tells. She kisses and evaluates and then tells. “Oh,” you say pleasantly, “your Aunt…

Here are the most recent google searches that have called up this blog: Grandma’s boobs32CCChuck Berry toilet pervert Urination dry humpingand my favorite:Fingering husband’s rectum (because fingering just any man’s rectum would be wrong. Who typed this search? A Mormon? Stacey? Is that you?)

Two things on TV made me happy this week. Helen Thomas chewed some Presidential ass at the press conference. I want to hug Helen Thomas almost as much as I want to hug the creators of South Park for taking on the “fruity little club.”

My red-headed friend Catherine and I are visiting the Duck Room at Blueberry Hill Thursday to see KT Tunstall perform. I look forward to expanding my KT Tunstall knowledge beyond the one song VH1 has determined I “Oughta Know.” I know already, I’ve seen her giant red lips singing the “woo-hoo” song at least once…

NEWS: Springsteen Covers Pete Seeger I have been to three concerts (not a typo, three) concerts in my life: -BNL and Alanis Morrissette a year and a half ago -Little River Band at the Arena in 1980 -Pete Seeger and Arlo Guthrie at the Mississippi River Festival a long, long time ago (Oh, wait, I…