Category: Miscellaneous Mockery

Okay, well, we do. It’s May 12th. I even warned the token Mormon today and assured her it would be a celebration of her Mormonism, not really an Inquisition, much as the Girl’s Sabbath Out” was a celebration of Marcia’s Judaism. Well. Except the Church of the Latter Day Saints has even more quirky habits…

Let me tell you about my Aunt Rosemary. She’s a fun girl. She had a mastectomy and loves asking people if they can tell which is the fake boob. She recently had lipstick and eyeliner permanently tattooed on. She kisses and tells. She kisses and evaluates and then tells. “Oh,” you say pleasantly, “your Aunt…

Here are the most recent google searches that have called up this blog: Grandma’s boobs32CCChuck Berry toilet pervert Urination dry humpingand my favorite:Fingering husband’s rectum (because fingering just any man’s rectum would be wrong. Who typed this search? A Mormon? Stacey? Is that you?)

Two things on TV made me happy this week. Helen Thomas chewed some Presidential ass at the press conference. I want to hug Helen Thomas almost as much as I want to hug the creators of South Park for taking on the “fruity little club.”

My red-headed friend Catherine and I are visiting the Duck Room at Blueberry Hill Thursday to see KT Tunstall perform. I look forward to expanding my KT Tunstall knowledge beyond the one song VH1 has determined I “Oughta Know.” I know already, I’ve seen her giant red lips singing the “woo-hoo” song at least once…

NEWS: Springsteen Covers Pete Seeger I have been to three concerts (not a typo, three) concerts in my life: -BNL and Alanis Morrissette a year and a half ago -Little River Band at the Arena in 1980 -Pete Seeger and Arlo Guthrie at the Mississippi River Festival a long, long time ago (Oh, wait, I…

If only they had Makeup Application as an Olympic Sport. Sasha Cohen? Gold medal.  

It just occurred to me, does no one pray to Jesus? Is Jesus just totally dissed in the praying process? I know Baptists (and possibly other religions) tack “In-Jesus’-Name-We-Pray” on the end of all their prayers, but I don’t think that counts, since it makes it quite clear they are praying to God. What about…

My favorite plays in high school were always those where the main character has a crisis of conscience. All My Sons. The Crucible. My favorite book is still Jane Eyre. I always dreamed I’d be faced with some big moral test and I could make a choice for virtue and morality. I love that scene…