Category: Miscellaneous Mockery

If all goes well with the Chicago trip I’ll be staying at this robot-bidding Alexa-enabled science-themed EMC2 hotel. The focal point of my room is the glass-encased shower. That link was a nice interactive 3-D map of the room, with this nice detail: And of course the robots, which look more like paper shredders and…

I have twelve wigs. I know that seems excessive for a four-year endeavor. But I need a wig for work, one for high heat (eating next to a fire / blowing molten glass), one for water (rain / water balloon fights), one for lying on my back (doctor visits and … no, just doctor visits).…

An utterly lovely woman at work with a wholesome natural style heard I was intrigued by this Polishey system for nail polish. ”I am intrigued by this thing where you draw the polish on your nails with something that seems like a marker,” I said, and she had actually just bought it, and her family…

I finished this in one day last year, and the glass on the left is wrong. Well, really, the entire bottom half is wrong. Just watch, it will take weeks to try to get it right, like my grandmother’s portrait, and I still won’t succeed. Or perhaps not.

Sometimes I work on the edges of programming scripts and the standards and protocols needed to get a device and a script to talk to each other. Most of the time I just use them. I tell my Mini application to honk my car’s horn so I can find it. The code in my phone…

In preparation for my MRI, the nurse asked, “Do you have an IUD?” My left eyebrow said something along the lines of, “I have been asked my date of birth five times since I walked into this hospital, you know how old I am, no I don’t have an IUD.” The nurse answered my left…

Here’s the previous: Here’s the progress: Here is where I started this round: When it was originally this: This does not bring me any joy. This toy bank makes no sense to me.

Back on July 5th I anticipated the results of the cage match between first generation and second-generation hyacinth beans. The previous year they had just begun to bloom on August 8th. For the past few weeks since August 8th, I have intermittently shouted at the arbor, ‘WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY WON’T YOU BLOOM?”…

At the Mucha exhibit I thought I spotted an Art Nouveau poster in which Alphonse depicts a man instead of his usual idealized flowy-haired woman but it turned out it the poster was of Sarah Bernhardt dressed as a man. The docent said that Sarah B and A. Mucha had a purely professional relationship, and…