Category: In Which We Mock Our Pets

I visited a local business the other day, and I was greeted by two cats. One was a ginger cat with giant feet. He was a long-legged big-shouldered athlete. Golden eyes that matched his fur. He looked like the first cat they would consider for the Olympic Cat Team. The other was a black and…

With the new back door, the indoor flies have diminished significantly. On occasion, though, one will get in, and I am gratified when I can kill it with the electric fly zapper racquet. One got in yesterday. He had an attitude. He was animated. He was savvy to my games. He liked beef stroganoff, especially…

I was reading through the In Which We Mock Our Pets category, getting a retrospective of all the Goldie posts, and ran into the last few posts about Mac the Dog. First, the dog was sick for hours, and yet I spoke of how sudden it all was. I had almost an entire day to…

Gary is talking a little less about Replacement Cat. I am still not interested. I am eating so much sugar that I have grown a litter of kittens under my skin. There’s an entire kitten nestled in my wattle and two smaller ones curled up on top of my hips. Yesterday, these were Gary’s specifications…

Today, Gary: “So have you thought any more about adopting a cat?” Two and a half hours later, Gary: “Have you made up your mind about the kitten?” Half an hour later, Gary: “I read here that if you get a kitten you have to get two.” Shortly thereafter, Me: “Stop it. Just stop.” ====…

I was in tears after Goldie’s light went out, and Gary said, “We’ll get another cat.” I was horrified. Way too soon, my dude. Read the room. Read the room full of hysterical crying. The great thing about Goldie was that we got to know him, and won him over slowly, and watched as he…

I know. That title’s an awful way to start, but sadly, and suddenly, Goldie is gone. As you know, Goldie was most recently seen tucked into the cervical collar in the bookcase. We thought that eating mice may have put him off his feed. I took him to the vet, and the vet verified that…

So, I have an ethical problem. Last night, at two in the morning, Goldie emerged from the basement with yes, another mouse. This time both Gary and I were awake for the mouse presentation. (It is really remarkable how little a broom affects a mouse, by the way. I wailed away on that thing, truly…

In honor of the upcoming Olympics, here is Goldie doing his pike dive pose. Goldie spent the entire day Saturday in my bed. I was also in bed for most of the day. On Sunday, however, he was sick of the smell of me and tucked himself into Gary’s cervical collar in a basket inside…

The “I have caught a mouse” call is a smug growl, equal parts warning and pride. MRRRER MOW. Had someone been listening they would have heard: “Goldie what is it — Oooh! You killed a mouse! You killed it and brought it upstairs, you smart boy. Pose for the picture, that’s good. Here, let me…