Category: In Which We Mock Our Husband

Two neighbors were outside, the guy across the street and his next-door neighbor. One waved at me as I was walking from the back yard to the front. I was happy that I was embracing a huge basket full of weeds because I had neglected to add a bra under my t-ahirt. “Are you missing…

Gary mentioned his birthmark today, just in passing, and as always when these occasions arise, when Gary throws out things like “You know, when I was in that diving accident” or “You know, when I set my bedroom floor on fire,” I said, “Wait what?” What birthmark? Because, seriously, what birthmark? I think I expected…

Gary was by the back door. I heard this exchange from the other side of the house. “No! Stop it — Stop, I’m trying to help you.” He sounded sweet. (None of the usual ALL CAPS tone he takes with me.) He went on, “You don’t want to be in here. There you go, Theeeere…

This video is three minutes long, but there is some pretty solid baby skunk cuteness there. I assume this is a mother and child because the baby glamorskunk seems very invested in the other skunk’s undercarriage. Perhaps this is the result of the skunk mating I smelled in March.

I was getting ready for the opera yesterday when Gary came in to chat. “WHAT OPERA ARE YOU GOING TO SEE TONIGHT?” I said “Donnnnnn … something. Don Giovanni? No, Don Pasquale.” “IS THAT ITALIAN? IS THAT MOZART? WHAT’S IT ABOUT?” “I have no idea, Gary. I never know until Anne reads the program and…

Even though Gary isn’t taking the trail cam videos anymore, I can still document the first baby raccoon sighting of the summer. On the night of June 19 these babies joined some baby skunks on the patio. Gary coaxes the wildlife close with a special feeding station right outside the back door. He’ll stay up…

Yesterday, on the eve of our fortieth wedding anniversary, we had what would have been a fight in previous years. The conflict came up because Gary’s colonoscopy is coming up, and he’s nervous. I expected him to back out, so when he came to me bellowing about how he couldn’t do this because of the…

I came home last night and Gary said, “There’s a fly in the house.” “Oh well,” I said, “We’ll get it with one of the electric rackets.” “Not this one. Electricity can’t take him down. He’s huge.” He saw my skeptical glance and added, “He’s a dirigible.” It was then I heard the thud as…

Earlier this week I was plugging away at work and heard Gary bellow, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?” No one else was in the house, so I assumed something was “wrong” with me, and stomped out to do battle. “What is your problem?” I demanded. “THIS SQUIRREL JUST BIT ONE OF OUR BIRDS!” “No,” I…

My teeth have always been dim, but I haven’t especially cared. However, the older you get the dimmer your teeth become, and the thinner your hair gets, and if you didn’t start out blessed in those categories to begin with, well, it can get disheartening. Since I’m already committing appearance fraud with the wigs now,…