Gary’s belt no longer fits now that he’s lost weight. My belt doesn’t fit either for the same reason.
I thought that in the household belt Venn diagram, we might have a situation where he could wear my belt and I could go without.
“I CAN’T WEAR A WOMAN’S BELT ARE YOU CRAZY?”
“Gary, explain to me how the belts are different. If mine fastens on the other side you can just flip it upside down.”
“YOU ARE CRAZY THEY ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT.”
“Show me. Side by side belt off.”
He came back with his belt in his left hand. He put my belt in his right hand.
“Gary, they are the same. Same width, similar buckle, same edges — “
“I WILL SHOW YOU THE DIFFERENCE. THIS IS A MAN’S BELT –“
He was standing at the footboard of the bed and he swung the man’s belt down hard. It slapped against the wooden footboard: WHOMP.
” — AND THIS IS NOT A MAN’S BELT — “
He swung the woman’s belt down hard. Plap.
After that pitiful sound he wrapped the woman’s belt around his head and raised his arms, victorious.
4 responses to “Belt”
That is hilarious, and also I am wondering if I know the reason WHY, because my husband has broken two (relatively cheap) belts in the time we have been married and I have never broken any and I do not know how he does it (aside from not paying much attention to stuff, such that it gets damaged; being able to use that attention on more important things: good, presumably; having things die young: less good), but his stuff does just need to be a bit more durable to survive.
Gary’s, though: I do not know. Maybe he just wants to be in a position to conduct a beatdown on, say, home intruders, at all times?
KC – I do know it almost killed him to spend whatever he spent on that belt and he is pretty liberal with money. I don’t know that he would waste it on Home intruders.
Quality men’s belts are MUCH sturdier than women’s, which are more based on fashion.
KathyG – I think I might add men’s belts as well as men’s pants to my wardrobe. You know, now that my testosterone levels make me a man.