Gary is determined to stay put in his current misery. Not interested in an appointment with the dermatologist because it’s the same dermatologist he spoke with last year.
- The inflammation numbers that plagued him last year have reduced. Were they getting in the way of a diagnosis?
- Could it be that some conditions can be diagnosed only if they are persistent?
- Does he like being sick? If I were as sick as he sounds I would crawl to the doctor.
I spent some time last weekend wondering how he’d react if I moved out. Not forever. Just like a month. Or until he consents to see the dermatologist again.
Then I reconsidered that. I’m catastrophizing. If he was going to die he would have already. The issues now are simply that:
a) His undiagnosed illness is expensive to treat. He’s treating it with special clothing and unguents that at best would eat into our Health Savings account (which I doubt) as opposed to prescribed medications that would be free because we’ve hit our out-of-pocket maximum.
b) He is a very poor and ill-tempered patient.
c) It’s hard to respect someone who actively chooses illness.
So, for the last two I am going to accept the situation and change what I can: myself. Back to counseling for me then. Actually I need advanced counselling. The skills I learned in counseling before have not helped. Or perhaps I need a Community College course called, “So Your Husband is a Grumpy Old Man Now.” Maybe I need to join the caregivers’ support group at work. And I’ll investigate if the Health Savings Account might pay for the clothes and the ointments.
And I need to have my second appointment with the therapist recommended at my physical. The first, the assessment, was today. That’s the only step forward I’ve taken so far.
3 responses to “Back on the counseling horse”
It *is* good that it isn’t likely to kill him, but… yeah, that is maddening, and if your counseling nets good insights on someone who Won’t Get Appropriate Treatment while expecting extensive sympathy for being miserable, I would love to hear about it, for behold, I have relatives. (I also have relatives who *do* get appropriate treatment, thank God. But. There is a mix.)
Hope PT goes well and is very useful! Thank you for Getting Appropriate Treatment and complying with it!
… belatedly realizing that the “counseling” is likely related to the “therapist” and therefore the therapist is not a PT. The point stands! But is less likely to stand up and sit down and stand up and sit down, no, feet shoulder width apart, let’s try that again…
KC – no, PT was mentioned but not in conjunction with the marriage. But I am at the point where I would try anything.