Fitted Sheet

There must be some reason this hasn’t become the standard for fitted sheets everywhere. These are fitted sheets you put on your mattress, and then when you need to change them, you just zip off the top.

The video is vague, but I picture a fitted sheet installed upside down, so the elastic is visible, only instead of elastic, there’s a zipper and a sheet that zips on. Otherwise, you’d just have a fitted sheet again that would eventually ride up the mattress like underwear, but the sheet eventually snaps up to the top.

I was all excited by this prospect, only to read the flaw is that the sheets sometimes tear. I assume they tear at the zipper and that there is a weight limit, or perhaps I don’t know, an activity / enthusiasm limit.

I went as far as measuring my mattress. Sadly, my mattress is two inches smaller all around than the twin size sheets sold by the first company I found. I’d already found a twin bolster that was two inches too large for my mattress. A Great Mattress Upsize must have happened in the last thirty years. (Yes, my mattress is thirty years old, but it’s been an unused guest bed for twenty.)

So, this may turn into a cascade of ill-advised purchases: new mattress before any zippered fitted sheet, unless the new freakishly flat box-spring substitute doesn’t fit the cherry sleigh bed the entire room is built around, and then I don’t even want to think about where that goes. Raze the house, I guess.

Of course, if I made my own I could tailor them to fit my bed, but for that I’d have to get my sewing machine fixed. That might be a better solution.