Weird Al Yankovic. Contemporary. Genius. The car Alexa, (inspired by my love for BNL and their peppy tunes and dark lyrics, and Boothby Graffoe and his sad songs with fluffy lyrics) served up a completely unprovoked Best of Weird Al playlist. I had heard most of his songs, starting with My Bologna on the Dr. Demento show. (I am still amazed other people were allowed to stay up late enough to hear Dr. Demento play gems like Dead Puppies.)
But one Weird Al song I hadn’t heard was Party in the CIA. It is perfection. Perfect rhymes, perfect counterpart to the original song (Party in the USA), perfect juxtaposition of cheery pop music and brutality, perfect takedown of the CIA.
Go here for the video, skip the ad, and use the lyrics below to sing along. (I would have linked to an ad-free lyric video, but not one had the correct lyrics.) Be warned, the downside to the video is that it does take the perfect balance of pop and brutality and tip it too far over to the brutality side.
With a plain and simple dream
Wanna infiltrate some third-world place
And topple their regime
Where everything’s on a need-to-know basis
Agents got that swagger
Everyone so cloak and dagger
For an undercover mission
And I put my earpiece on
Got my dark sunglasses on
And I had my weapon drawn
My cyanide pills
My classified dossier
Shreddin’ the files like yeah
And then I rised all the enemy spies
I’ve got to neutralize today
Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA
That have almost gotten me dismissed
Like terminate some head of state
Who wasn’t even on my list
I’d tell you why but then I’d have to kill you
You need a quickie confession?
Well, start a water boarding session
I’ll assassinate him later
That’s when he walked right in my laser sights
And my silencer was on and my silencer was on
And another target’s gone
From Kazakhstan to Bombay
Payin’ the bribes like yeah
Pluggin’ the leaks like yeah
Interrogating the scum of the earth
We’ll break them by the break of day!
Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA
Look no further, we’re your guys (we’re your guys)
We’ve got snazzy suits and ties (suits and ties)
And a better dental plan than the FBI’s
Or else you’ll get blown away
Stagin’ a coup like yeah
Brainwashin’ moles like yeah,
We only torture the folks we don’t like
You’re probably going to be OK
Yeah, it’s a party in the CIA