Soy Burger

McDonald’s is here to say it will be offering a vegan plant-based burger called the McPlant.

I am here to say, “been there, ate that.” I grew up on plant-based burgers. Our school district served soy burgers exclusively.

Perhaps next year McDonald’s will introduce another of my high school foods, the McRectangle:

From the press release for the McRectangle:

“There are other pizzas out there, but the McRectangle delivers our iconic taste in a stick-to-your-teeth-kind of pizza,” the company said in a statement. “It’s made with a steamed, flavorless “crust”, ketchup-based sauce, and served on a plastic tray molded to fit the classic rectangular pizza shape.”

Perhaps then McDonald’s will serve up the Nike sandwiches.

(I don’t know if my school’s Nike sandwiches were as ubiquitous as pizza ala rectangle. I don’t know why the meat and cheese subs were called Nike sandwiches – either they were imported from Japan or it was a comment on something that weighed twice what you would expect it to, like Nike tennis shoes.)

From the McNike press release:

“There are other plastic-wrapped sub sandwiches you can heat in a special convection oven until hot enough to cause third degree burns, ” the company said in a statement. “People will go wild for the blast of flavor, which is ‘Gummy,’ with notes of ‘250 degrees Fahrenheit.’”