100 Percent

So I’ve been having some shortness of breath. It happens every once in a while. It’s anxiety-based.

“IT’S COVID!” Gary said.

“No, it’s not. It’s just Dave being sick and work stuff on top of the global pandemic —

“CO! VID!”

After a few rounds of this, he went away and came back with his fingertip pulse oxygen meter.

Like the image, my pulse rate was 75. But the blood oxygen? See how the image displays 99%? Like that’s a goal? Guess what my pulse oxygen was.

One hundred percent.

“Like Apollo 1,” I said.

“What?”

“I’m pumped full of pure oxygen. Don’t leave any tools near me. They could spark and I would spontaneously combust.”

He didn’t laugh, but I’m sure he was just grumpy because his pulse oxygen was only 95%.