First off, DC movies should not be prefaced by trailers for Marvel movies.
“Oooh,” Gary whispered after the trailer for Avengers: Endgame. “That looks really good. We have to see that.”
And then, right after that excellent Marvel trailer, we saw Aquaman. It was just the worst DC comics movie ever, and I’ve seen Man of Steel.
At one early point there was a long senseless action scene, so I cranked up the seat warmer and snuggled in to take a nap. I knew the movie was a loss for me, but I thought Gary would like it.
People, it was so painful that Gary began writhing and sighing so loudly I had to lean over and shush him.
“But it’s so awful,” he moaned.
I answered, “I think maybe this is a children’s movie.” I’m pretty sure the language was kindergarten level.
Then, Willem Dafoe rode in on some very pretty pastel seahorses.
Gary leaned over. “Why is he riding a seahorse if he can zoom through the ocean like – ”
“Seriously, shush.”
“I can’t take it. Let’s leave.” Eventually, forty-five minutes in, we bailed on that movie.
When we emerged from the theater Gary shuddered and exploded with, “GOD THAT WAS LIKE A SIXTIES GLADIATOR MOVIE IT WAS SO BAD.”
Of course, that’s how he reacts after very good movies too, but he sits all the way through the very good movies before he condemns them.