Naughti Gras 2017: Gary Gets Naughti.

A few years back I went to Naughti Gras alone. This year I finally coaxed Gary to join me. I know, I have the only husband alive whi has to be dragged to an erotic art fair.

As it was in the past, my favorite part was the close-up magician, the same one who tricked me the last time. I cannot emphasize this enough: we were surrounded by erotic art and we could not take our eyes off this magician.

There were cards that changed while I was holding them. I know he must have palmed my card and that it was a trick deck and all that, but people, I watched. He told me that he didn’t see the reflection of the card in my glasses last time, and that made me determined to trip him up. I watched him hard. As he worked his magic, I stooped down and peered at him from below. And then somehow, coins changed in my hands, Gary’s card appeared in his wallet, two separate cards Gary and I signed merged into one double-sided card with both our signatures. He fooled me again and again and again. It was delightful.

This is one playing card:

And this is his business card:

Zi Teng Wang, epistaticmagic@gmail.com. Go to him with all your magic and molecular biology needs.

The magic was also a nice distraction from the semi-nudity. Gary was not comfortable. I was fine with the semi-nudity. There was a male pole dancer who was fairly bare-assed: I fully supported that. I thought Gary would have felt the same, but of course, no. He got so self-conscious you would have thought he was the naked one. For example, there was a woman, topless but with taped nipples, who was having her body painted. We watch the Skin Wars body painting competition TV show regularly. I wanted to watch the body painting. Nope. I was hustled away. We went in a small room where there was a woman covered in sushi. Gary loves sushi. Nope. Again, we must leave, no, no sushi, no body art, no no no.

It would seem he doesn’t like to stare at women when he’s clothed and they aren’t. Very conscious of being the creepy old guy. I had some hint of this in the past, for example on cruise ships when we couldn’t walk across the pool deck for fear sun bathers would think he was ogling them.

However, there were stilt-walkers and magicians and non-breathing, tiny felt vagina pins to buy:

… and non-judgmental photos of naked women we could enjoy without discomfort. Gary did enjoy himself enough to go back next year and stay long enough to see more of the pageantry.

“Like the burlesque?” I asked, remembering the bare assed male pole dancer who didn’t seem to be affronted that I was staring at him while I was clothed and he was not (so so rude).

“Well, maybe if it’s dark and there’s a bigger crowd I can look at the naked ladies without feeling pervy.”

So, that’s a plan: next year in Naughti Gras. We’re also planning a trip to South Missouri for the Solar eclipse later this year. (Sing with me: we’ll take the Honda down to Cape Girardeau to see the total eclipse of the sun.)