Gobsmacked


Gary walked off his job today, never to return. And since he’s 59, and because he can, he’s retired.

I should be surprised, but I have had to listen to thirty years of, “I’m going to be fired I’m going to be laid off they are giving my job to someone else I need to start calling headhunters they want to get rid of me I work for idiots.”

Last year he was so convinced he’d be fired I went to our Financial Analyst and said, “Give me a document that proves he can BE fired and we won’t be eating cat food when we retire.” Since then, every time he says he hates his job and people are making him work every weekend, I remind him we can live just fine off my salary and I can retire at sixty, even. In fact, if we didn’t mind cat food, I could retire now, I guess.

The last time I said that he yelled at me and said I was an idiot.

Today he sent me an email that said, essentially, screw these guys, I’m packing up my desk and books and going home. I listened to him, which is something I rarely do, and I took off from work immediately so I could greet him at home.

Of course, he wasn’t there when I got home, or even after I’d worked at home three hours, or even after I called him.

He didn’t answer my call BECAUSE HE LEFT HIS COMPANY BLACKBERRY ON THE BOSS’ DESK WHEN HE LEFT.

He took that time to compose a letter of resignation, pack up ten boxes worth of books, put those books in his car, and have a chat with his V.P., who is frankly jealous Gary is living the dream, I think.

I. KNOW.

So by the time he finally got home at eight, as usual, I assumed he’d had a change of heart and I was gobsmacked to hear he had finally had enough. (What drove him over the edge is a long story, but I can simplify it: demands demands unreasonable demands and then demand fulfillment met with scorn and more demands. This set of bosses really are idiots.)

So when I looked in the car and saw ten boxes of books, I knew it finally happened: I have a real husband now. I can look back at the vacations he ruined by working, and the holidays he’d have to leave so he could work, and the marriage counseling we went to because he worked so much and I took it personally, and I could go on.

And the really nice thing is that beyond having to pay my own iPhone bill, I won’t feel a change, because we had separate banking accounts. I mean, I’m sure he’ll feel the pinch of not buying an iPad for his parents’ dog.

“I won’t feel a change.” Ha! What will it feel like, not coming home every night to an empty garage? Having a weekend with Gary in which he doesn’t work, or sleep till four, or rant for hours about work? He even turned off the alarm since he doesn’t have to get up. He’ll probably be jackknifed in terror all night long anyway.

I swear, life changes in an instant.


11 responses to “Gobsmacked”

  1. Congratulations to Gary. My condolences to you. From what little I know of the man, you’ll need to find him a consuming hobby, FAST!

  2. Sounds like a life-saving maneuver. Congratulations. Things will be calmer now.Don’t let people tell you anything else. It is a fine thing when people can leave bad jobs. Gary is only 59. Lucky man. Lucky you.

  3. Congratulations to you both. Make him develop phone apps so he can make another zillion dollars, plus, it will keep him busy, which you definitely want (see Silk’s comment).
    If you come home hungry and he’s sitting on his butt, he gets one pass but after that, heads will roll.

  4. My dad retired early and it was fantastic for my parents. Either way, I’m glad he’s ditched the horrible job. Best of luck to you both.

  5. Ahh, so that’s why Gary is as he is? When my husband left a job he hated, life improved immeasurably at home. Hope that’s how it works out for you – but there will be adjustments. If he starts to regard your home as his space, you’ll have to give him a shake. Becs is onto it.

  6. ~~Silk – I think he’ll take up the hobbies he’s shelved because he doesn’t have time or energy: drums, pc games, biking.
    Hattie – Every job he’s had has been a bad job. Some people are just never happy emplyed. I nee to make sure I don’t end up as his defacto employer.
    Becs – He’ll order a pizza for $20. I can see it now.
    Zayrina – He has established the rules: He does nothing. No cooking, no cleaning. I have countered with, maybe for a month, but then that won’t fly.
    Allison – I hope it does turn out to be fantastic. Did your dad help around the house? My dad retired at 40 and never did anything around the house, because he did things horribly. Couldn’t cook, couldn’t clean. I’m not falling for that.
    Big Dot – Oh, there were adjustments today when we bought him an iPhone and added him to my plan. “Oh, let’s get the better plan, that’s just ten dollars a month more.” Yes … but it’s my ten dollars.

  7. My Dad is awesome around the house. He got home earlier than my Mom when he did work and he made supper most nights. He cooks as often as she does, if not more, and they clean the house TOGETHER. They fight a lot and swear at each other, just in case that’s too sickeningly sweet for you.

  8. Allison – Well, Gary and I are already good at fighting and swearing, so that bodes well.

Comment, even if you aren't on WordPress. Make up a name. Fine by me.

Discover more from Queen Mediocretia of Suburbia

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading