Today I was able to fit in my 2 minute shower after Gary’s 45 minute shower. I showered while he was toweling off. In fact, he’d just finished toweling off while I applied some deodorant.
Then, instead of capping the deodorant, I handed it to him because he needed it next.
“AARRRGGHHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!” That’s exactly what he said, and he cringed to get as far away from the deodorant as possible.
What I SHOULD have done was turn the little dial on the bottom, ratchet up some deodorant goo, and swipe it all over his face. Instead I backed up and put the offensive deodorant down.
“What is your problem?” I asked.
“What do you think you’re doing, handing me that thing right after you used it? Put the cap back on and I’ll get it later. It needs to … cool off,” he finished lamely.
So. This is why they make women’s deodorant. Because of the hot armpit cooties.
12 responses to “Cootie Pits”
I can’t imagine sharing deodorant with anyone except in dire emergencies. (Like an unexpected sleepover.) Maybe the marrieds do this kind of thing all the time?
I don’t see what the big deal is. Other parts of you have touched directly in much more intimate areas and ways.
However. Xman so disliked the way that I squeezed a tube of toothpaste that he insisted we have separate toothpastes.
Cool off?
I just… wow..
Sometimes I wonder about Gary. And then I remember Wilma.
Personally, I could do with a bit more fastidiousness on the part of my other half. Rinsing his foamy spit off the electric toothbrush handle would be a good place to start.
I’m fine with women using men’s deodorant. I do, because I found an unscented one and you know how I can be about scents. But share? Oh, hell no.
Amy on StL – I thought everyone shared deodorant. What about soap, people, do you share the same bar of soap? We do!
Becs – That’s the argument I use when I accidently use his tooth brush. That also crosses his line. It’s the same spit you getwhen you kiss me …
Marcia – It makes no sense, does it.
Big Dot – Gary’s a slob compared to Wilma. I wonder if Wilma shares deodorant with Ken? I’ll have Gary ask on Sunday.
Caroline – and evidently Gary’s okay with sharing as long as we take a few seconds for my cooties to dissapate. Maybe you could try that.
My complaint with sharing the pit smear with my husband is if he uses it first, he almost always leaves a curly hair on it. While this isn’t really a big deal, in that groggy pre-caffeine morning state it can give me a few willies. I do insist he pick off his own pit hairs.
I do quibble a bit about him using mine, though, because I never use his (allergy issues make me picky, while he can use ANYTHING) and he will use mine up because he’s too lazy to look for where he dropped his.
Murphy Jacobs – The curly hair he leaves behind ends up in my armpit, so I don’t mind.
(That sounds like a song.)
I don’t share deodorant *or* soap, because we’re both fussy about scents, and I don’t want to do without one and go unscented. There’s a lot of stuff in my bathroom.
He does use my toothbrush all the time, but there’s no way it’s by accident, as my toothbrush is shaped like Cinderella. I love Spinbrushes.
Tami – I can find you two links right now that say how masculine your Cinderella Spinbrush looks.
While my point was that it looks different from the other toothbrush, and not that it was particularly feminine, that’s pretty funny. In fact, his toothbrush is surprisingly more girly.
Yeah, I bought that.
Tami- Gary would pitch such a fit if I even suggested he use that toothbrush!