Gary’s back is improving. Over the weekend, it felt better enough that he was able to shuffle his suffering down to his legs. He said his legs were swelling. His ankles did look a little unnaturally foldly, but other than that I just took his word for it. He read that Celebrex might cause leg swelling and decided to take himself off the Celebrex.
The next day, yesterday, he complained of chest pains and heart palpitations. Yesterday was his first day of work, given his slow recovery over the weekend. He dismissed his heart yesterday.
Today he took it seriously. He sent me an email that said he was having ALL kinds of chest pains, shortness of breath, and now he had an appointment with his sister’s cardiologist. Next Tuesday. He said the office of the GP (the Mormon doctor) was aware of everything and supported it.
From that email, I made these assumptions:
1) I assumed he had told our doctor’s office about his symptoms.
2) I assumed he had called his sister and asked for the cardiologist’s name, called the cardiologist, and luckily got in next Tuesday. (See you next Tuesday! Ahahaha.)
I thought “Go Gary! You called our doctor like you promised!” I got him on the phone.
Assumption 1: No, he just asked our doctor’s office to send his files to the cardiologist. No one knows of his symptoms.
Assumption 2: His sister spontaneously called him, said her cardiologist had an open spot and would take a new patient next Tuesday, and would he like to go, and he said yes. HE assumed I had called her and mentioned he was having chest pains. But no, I didn’t. In some Corsican Twin telepathy she called him on the very day he was having chest pains. I know it seems odd going to a cardiologist though you haven’t been diagnosed ever with any heart problems, but then his Mom didn’t know of her heart problems until Karen got her in to the cardiologist.
Of course I called our doctor and described Gary’s symptoms: lower back pain, swollen legs, shortness of breath and chest pains. You want to alarm the front desk? Phone in with those symptoms. “With THOSE symptoms? He needs to come in as soon as possible! He needs to be here at … 3:15 today.”
FuckfuckFUCk! And did you know lower back pain can be a symptom of a heart attack? I didn’t know. Google knew.
At 3:15, Gary went to the doctor on his own, TURNED OFF HIS DAMN PHONE, got rigged up to a meter and trotted like a dog up and down the hall. Heart didn’t skip a beat, they said.
Still, they confirmed Celebrex wasn’t in his best interest, his legs are swollen (not just chubby), and he should keep the Serendipitous Cardiology Appointment. They took blood and will think on it. Possibly, his back pain led him to sleep in the La-Z-Boy. (Yeah, we have one. SHUT YOUR MOUTH IT CAME FROM MY MOMMA.) This La-Z-Boy is not spacious (it is ELEGANT) so his crunched-up sleeping posture may have led to the swollen legs and the chest pains.
I am back to the diagfauxsis. Giant Cell Arteritis FTW. It comforts me.
10 responses to “A Spike of Drama, a Pinch of Miscommunication”
I…I hardly know what to say. But if I did, you can be sure it would be pithy, snarky, and sardonic. With just a touch of sympathy. For you. Sometimes I wonder what keeps Gary alive. Oh, that’s right, it’s everyone else…sigh.
Welcome to the “shit starts falling apart as you pay for your misspent youth ” years. Hang on it gets bumpy.
Every time something else on me breaks forever, I remember that misspent youth very fondly. In the words of Liz Torres (As Miss Patty on The Gilmore Girls): “Thank goodness I had all that sex!”
Hey, don’t knock Lazi-boys! My second one is about worn out.
They are descendents of the Morris chair. My mother had a Morris chair and I had two of them I had to leave behind in New Jersey when we moved to Europe.
My cousin is very high class and has all uncomfortable furniture and never eats anything.
But anyway I hope the Mormon doc comes through for you. He will have to change his diet. Low sodium, low sugar. Essential.
Descendants! Must go find a caffeinated drink. And it’s Gary who have to change his diet, not the doc Mormon, who I assume has perfect health habits.
Hattie – All Mormons have perfect health habits. As do the 7th Day Adventists.
Becs – Just today he made a call to register for his big heart test all on his own. He’s trying. (Yes, he is, very trying, yuk yuk.)Zayrina – Misspent youth? Never drank, never smoked, never did drugs, BARELY had sex. Both of us. Not fair. We did have a misspent midlife, though.Tami – Good for you. I never had enough sex in my youth.Hattie – We have a Morris chair too! And I will have to change Gary’s diet. I should start packing him a lunch.Becs – No. Mormon doctor has confessed his big temptation on his blog: a big bowl of ice cream every night. He struggles with it.
I still say that you should be insulted she didn’t schedule an appointment for you, too. Does she not care if you die suddenly of a cardiac event?
Dear Queen, I also didn’t do any of that fun stuff, the drinking, smoking,etc. I did, however, eat my way to a misspent youth. If I had left cheese and butter and chocolate alone I might well have made it to middle age with a gallbladder and uterus on board.
BTW I plan to take LSD on my 90th birthday if I make it. Care to sign on for that?
Caroline – I think she knows I would be ungrateful.Zayrina – ‘Kay! Party at Zayrina’s later.