Dueling Diseases in the House

We are both sick with different ailments.

Gary is sick because he went to the dentist and foolishly elected against a root canal. Gary should get root canals as a preventative measure. He should get twice-yearly root canals. However, he is a Big Strong Man and the dentist went with it. Now he yelps and screams and says he has astonishing jaw and ear pain.

“I have astonishing jaw and ear pain,” I would say, only I don’t, I have astonishing head pain. Plus, I’ve been alternately sleeping and pooping for a day and a half.

I was half awake yesterday when Gary jiggled my hip and asked, “What do they call the people who take your blood?”

“Phlebotomists,” I answered, which was pretty good for half-asleep.

“NO! Dont be ridiculous! Just tell me who the people are who take your blood!”

Vampires? Blood thieves? Eventually I got it. The correct answer was “American Red Cross.” He wanted to cancel his platelet appointment.

I am sick with a sinus infection, I think, only I can’t wash it out with nasal spray. It must be in my inner sinuses. Usually the self-waterboarding perks me right up.

What I need to do is turn on Gary like a wounded bear, since that’s what seems to make him feel better. When he gets home (from his parents, where he is a god, oh let me feed you some ice cream that will make your jaw feel better honey) I shall whirl on him and ask random questions. “What type of wood doesn’t float?” is my top choice right now.

Update ==================================

This is the Yellow Yarn flu. If you’ve had it, you know what I mean.