Birthday
It was a gorgeous day today: perfect enough to meet my specifications, even. Not too hot, not too cool. But, it was also Gary’s birthday, and I said I would do anything Gary wanted to.
Gary wanted to:
Sleep till three in the afternoon.
Wake up and watch the war for two hours. (Why do they have a vision of Hell behind Wolf Blitzer’s head? What is that?)
Take a little nap from five till seven.
Wake up and watch a show on MSNBC I can only call “Best of the Tsunami.”
Eat sausage and cheese and Jelly Bellys, then have a little lie down until nine thirty.
Watch Big Love and Shameless.
And then, I ASSUME, go to sleep.
I don’t know. Perhaps his Love Language is sleep.
Candles
Gary shares his birthday celebrations with his sister Sandy, who was born within a few days (well, 3 years and a few days). She likes scented candles. “They relieve stress!” Other stress relievers are singing, watching candle flames, and aromatherapy. She hasn’t turned her back on my chosen stress reliever: eating.
Well, Gary purchased some of those fat candles in glass jars with lids. This brought up the annual discussion of CANDLES ARE A FIRE HAZARD and the traditional telling of AUDREY PUT CANDLES ON HER COFFEE TABLE AND THEY BURNED DOWN AND THEN BURNED THROUGH THE COFFEE TABLE AND THEN BURNED A HOLE IN THE RUG. Every. Year. Every single year they have the same conversation and no ones mind ever changes.
Karen tried a new tack this year and tallied up what Sandy spends a month on candles. Futile.
I think Sandy’s love language is candles, maybe. “I know you make bad decisions, Sandy, but I trust you with fire.”
I don’t burn candles. I don’t see the appeal unless it’s a party. Any candles I have now are burned in the fireplace, partly because Karen would walk around my parties and blow out the candles, and partly because I don’t want to worry they’ll burn through the coffee table and burn a hole in the rug. The Candle China Syndrome.
Etc.
Which is better for when you really have to empty your bladder?
Peesnami
Tsunampee
6 responses to “Gary’s Birthday and Candles and etc.”
I find tsunampee easier to say. I have been involved in several poocanos.
I think it’s Tsunampee. Although I think there should be some kind of rating system so those of us who create a Tsunampee because we only go a couple times a day are rated more dangerous than those that pee once an hour becaues their bladder is the size of a tennis ball.
Best of the tsunami. That’s about it. Time for a media vacation before we all melt down. Enjoy your lovely spring weather.
Wendy – I am so stealing poocano. Amy in StL – It could be on a Poise Pad scale.Hattie – I think it is time for a media vacation.Even the Breaking News sound clip doesn’t bring me ion the room anymore.
I stick with the traditional “piss like a racehorse”. After working in a stable for several years, there are few things more impressive than a horse letting go (but maybe you have to be there to appreciate it. Or not). (Btw- the sheer volume definitely qualifies for tsumanpee)
Elisabeth – I have not seen a racehorse piss, but have seen a trail ride horse piss. It is impressive.