Yes, I am automatically edgy and sophisticated because per the national news I live in Saint Louis, Most Dangerous City in the USA.
Only, no one lives in the five-square-miles designated as Saint Louis proper, which is why we won “Most Dangerous City.” Say you go downtown to a Cards game, where you are murdered and stuffed in a dumpster. After the game, all your friends return to the suburbs (i.e.: anything not marked “Saint Louis” on the map below). All your murderer’s friends leave the game, some go home to East Saint Louis Illinois, some go to the suburbs, and the only people left in Saint Louis proper are you, the murderer and his mom and dad. That’s a 1:3 murder ratio right there.
You may think your friends who live in Saint Louis actually live inside the border of the city, but instead we live in the suburbs, which would be just a neighborhood in the city if Saint Louis were permitted to get bigger, which it isn’t. Its growth was stunted at 5 miles.
Hint: if you suspect someone you know “from Saint Louis” doesn’t really live IN the city, do what we do: ask what high school he or she attended.
If that person answers, “Soldan” or “Vashon” they might be from the city. They are cool.
If that person answers, “I didn’t go to high school here,” they aren’t really FROM Saint Louis. (Well, it’s true.) However, they might live IN the city.
If that person answers, “East Saint Louis High,” lie down, because you are about to be murdered by your friend. Of course, that’s a generalization, my husband was born in East Saint Louis and he isn’t a murderer. (He didn’t go to high school there.)
The Riverfront Times reports that O’Fallon MO has the second-lowest crime rate in the nation. I live and work comfortably right between the two. I’m a little disappointed this Colonie New York place is safer than O’Fallon because it goes against all laws of symmetry. It violates poetic justice. Someone from O’Fallon should sneak up to Colonie and kill someone to screw up their ratio.
8 responses to “Saint Louis! Number One Most Dangerous City!”
Thank you. I wish people would realize that numbers like this are bogus.
There are parts of St. Louis I wouldn’t visit in the dark (like that’s a deterrent) but it’s not nearly as bad people think.
My boyfriend lives in St. Louis proper, but then he’s a city fireman so he’s currently required to. I think the city is charming, even the scary after dark parts are charming in the early morning when all the scary people are still sleeping. I’d die to move to the city proper! hee hee, die….
Alas! Camden hangs its head in shame.
Yes! West Jesus rocks! (And The Friends have made fun of me for living in East Columbia. Ha!)
To be fair to the city, the murders are even more contained than that, but statistically the two square miles that are dangerous need the three square miles that are safe to bring down the average just enough to avoid the national guard implementing a police state.
Jonseals – You know, New York cheats, they don’t even report robberies of less than a thousand dollars. Amy_in_StL – when I first moved here (I was five) I lived at Jamieson and Chippewa, which I think is right on the edge of the city proper. Certainly no crime there.Becs – Ha! We beat your ass, Camden. You thought you had a three-year lock.Hot Mom – I’ve never heard you call it East Columbia! Ha indeed.Caroline – Yes, that part up North. Where Pizza deliveries and singing telegrams fear to tread.
I’ve always wondered how those rankings were tallied. I’ve never felt unsafe in STL.
Benchmark – Well, there are places, like by the levee, where I would not walk after dark.