Granted, I heard this piece of news on Weekend Update on SNL, but evidently a town has passed a law prohibiting Pedophiles from decorating for halloween or giving out candy. (Punchline: “And you know those guys have the best candy.”)
So, number one way to tell if your neighbors are pedophiles: they don’t give out candy. Now I HAVE to decorate for Halloween, I HAVE TO, or else be tagged as a pedophile, since we’ll be visiting my brother that evening and can’t give out candy.
Add one more thing: a neighbor Is on the pedophile list.
I have to decorate my house for a holiday I really dislike while I’m not even there just so I don’t get tagged as a pedophile. I am a grumpy pumpkin. (Wait, I just checked Urban Dictionary. I’m not a grumpy pumpkin. When did Halloween become all about sex?)
6 responses to “Halloween Approaches”
Actually, I think that’s a law locally, too. I’ve heard about it on the news the past few years.You could do what a bunch of people in my neighborhood do. They just leave a bowl of candy on the porch with a note to take some. I’ve never seen those bowls empty, so the kids seem to be respectful. You can go to minimum effort, avoid all contact with children, and not get labeled a pedophile.
Caroline – Well, but we’re gone all weekend. So it would be a frosty cold bowl.
If you don’t let registered pedophiles hand out candy, we will have solved the problem of pedophilia once and for all.
Hattie – no, still have puppies.
We leave a bowl on our doorstep. It’s always empty when we get home.Oh, and we don’t decorate. We don’t have any decorations but that’s beside the point.
Hot Mom – Hm. We get in late that evening. I might just ignore it entirely.