Dog Update 2010

You knew it would happen. Gary is complicating the dog’s food.

To his credit, Gary isn’t feeding the dog any treats, even though Mac kicked Gary in the head every night for a week and barked “GIVE ME TREATS!” Then Mac went through the pathetic snorfling phase, when he tried to coke-snort dusty treat molecules out of the corners.

Of course, this broke Gary’s heart. Because, really, would you want to eat the same thing day after day? It would be like eating half a turkey sandwich every night. (A boss at work flippantly asked what was wrong with my dog, and I coldly tried to make him feel bad for asking. “My dog has been diagnosed with Kidney Disease,” “Why, is he on your diet too?”)

Gary thought we could present the dry Kidney Diet kibble as teeny-tiny treats, but Mac didn’t fall for that more than once. Then Gary thought I could cook up some of the canned dog food into, say, dog brownies. Luckily, the vet called today to say the kidney food exists in treat form.

Now Gary has enough ingredients to cusinify the dog’s meals. He explained to me this morning, “First you have to mince up the canned food really fine, then mound it up into a cone, then garnish it with the dry food.” I’m sure when the dog biscuits get here he’ll sink one into the top like a wafer in a mousse.