- Gary’s adam’s apple hurts to a degree that I asked Dr. Google, and he said it was Cricopharyngeal spasm and it would go away. Or, a goiter. But, given that most gender specific body parts are seen as attractive to the opposite sex (breasts, muscles) why isn’t the adam’s apple given more attention? “Mm, look at that huge adam’s apple on that guy.” Instead we hide it under ties, when it would usually have a special accessory, like a bustier, to show it off.
- I need to nourish the few remaining outposts of beauty on my vast wasteland of flesh. My toes are good (“Fucking GREAT!” Spunky diva-screams) since I’ve been getting the pricey pedicure. It does costs three times as much but lasts three times longer. This means I want to get my eyebrows waxed at the Snooty West County Salon. Part of that desire stems for Gary’s devotion to Charmed re-runs.
Look at the eyebrows on Alyssa Milano:
I can’t have the rest, but no reason I couldn’t buy those eyebrows. Of course, this is the first step toward the Great Gatsby double-eyebrow, with the shaved brow and another higher brow painted above.(All I remember of the Great Gatsby. Thanks for that image, F. Scott.) At least it would distract. We wouldn’t notice the rest of my face has slid into a relaxed flesh-hammock under my jaw.
- I’m a little ashamed to say this, but I have joined Gary on the Six-bite Gulag Adult Anorexia diet. He’s already lost 40 pounds. Frankly, he was closing in on my weight, and I can not be bigger than Gary.
8 responses to “Attractive Bullets”
I have so little eyebrow hair, I’m always afraid to get mine waxed for fear they’ll overwax. Also, I googled six bite diet but only found a five bite diet. Please elaborate. Not that I could survive that amount of food or go back to skipping breakfast; but I’m curious on Gary’s take because I’m sure it’s different.
Gary can eat six bites of anything he wants. If he wants carrots, six bites of a carrot. If he wants rice cakes, six bites of a rice cake. If he wants phesant under glass, six bites of phesant under glass.That’s all I know about it.
Get OUT. Somebody’s still watching Charmed? I hate when men lose weight. Stupid Gary.
That’s always one of my rules. Which is why I have to turn so many men away. (Insert here manic laughter.)
As for eyebrows, sweetheart, darhling, have you had them waxed before? Your skin is so fair that I fear you might have, um, less than desirable results.
Try it if you must.
Then find an intensely Indian part of the burbs (they’re there. I know they are. They’re everywhere.) Go into a beauty salon / shop / unisex salon, point at your eyebrows and they’ll sit you down and pat at various places for you to hold while they remove the hair.
Nowadays, I just make a big gesture featuring my entire face and neck.
I have wasted money on eyebrow waxing. It is a waste because my eyebrows are so blond you can’t tell one way or another before or after.
The six bite diet sounds interesting. Do you get to eat six bites of one thing then six bites of something else?
Seems to me a bite is a pretty flexible sort of measurement. I know someone who can fit his entire fist into his mouth.
This six-bite thing sounds interesting.
(Yes, I also commented on the wrong post.) 🙂
Amy in StL – You have inspired me to get the details of the diet. See tonights post.Hot Mom – Or, as I’ve seen it practiced at the in-laws six bites of a whole meal. But there was brisket at work once and it was six bites of brisket. Allison – This is the SECOND time he’s watched it all the way through. Becs – Hah! Oh, I’ve done the cheap $8 wax, and my hair is so thin I can even do the Cold Wax strips. I’m really going for the right shaping. Zayrina – I refer you to tonights post as well.Big Dot – [vulgar comment about Becs and her rule deleted]Jon – I refer you to tonights post as well.