So far four things have reduced my pre-test jitters today.
Singing, studying, whining, eating.
SINGING
I was singing on the way home and noticed if you selectively quote the lyrics to the excellent Caron Leaf anthem “What Have You Learned,” two things happen: 1) you lose all sense of what the song is actually about (breakup?) and then 2) it becomes about taking a crucial work-related test!
STUDYING
What have you learned, can you remember?
You’re like the waves beating on the sandy shore
You swear you’ve been there once or twice before
TeddyJ has given us really great materials so we can prep for this test. You take a test, you get a passing grade, you take it the second time and it kicks your ass. It’s very motivating. Then you take it again and again and every time you get a slightly higher grade. So the worst thing you can do is pass the first time around. A week before the test is not the time to discover this.
WHINING
What would you like for me to do?
Everything you need from me is in your hands
And everything else is up to you
A scene from my life, repeated a number of times today:
Me: “AAAAAHHHHHH! STREEEESSSSSEEED! COMFORT ME!” (I move in for a hug.)
Others: “You’ll be fine.” (Pat my back.)
Me: (Jerks away.) “Why do you say that? HOW DO YOU KNOW I’LL BE FINE?”
One person was smart enough to keep guessing until he got the right answer, which was, “You’ve made all these study cards. You have a system.” Remember that. If a stressed, needy, distant woman hugs and insults you, the answer is “notecards.”
EATING
Cast away and you’re looking through the wreckage for your pride,
But you can’t salvage what you don’t supply
You’re like a squirrel out in the middle of the road
You’re halfway there but don’t know which way to go
If you could see your sinking dignity
I just ate an entire bag of cheese popcorn.
NOT A STRESS-RELIEVER, BUT: HURRICANES
You’re like a butterfly on a windy day
You use directions in a roundabout way
And you’re blown away by your own hurricane
The Hurricane Show is back, but it looks like Anderson doesn’t even show up for a lousy Cat 2. You do have to wonder how the storm surge would affect the oil spill. I’m picturing creamy Italian oil and water dressing, you know, after you shake it into an emulsification. If we had eggs in the ocean we would have a mayonnaise deluge.
8 responses to “Carbon Leaf High-Stress Mashup”
Hugs? You’re looking for hugs??? You must be stressed.
And that mayonnaise would need some vinegar – let’s chuck in some acid too, why don’t we.
Of course, if you still had that edit-comment thing going, I could have concealed my confusion of mayo and vinaigrette from the rest of your readers.
Big Dot – I forgot, you are right: Italian dressing is oil and vinegar, not oil and salt water. Is anything droplets of oil suspended in water?
Droplets of oil suspended in water? Yeah! Scented bath oil! and the gulf’s scented bath oil would give you a nice all-over tan color, too.
Worst thing you can do for the test is get so tense that during the actual test you freeze up and forget everything. My technique is to look at the worst thing that could happen if I fail the test, make a Plan B that satisfies me if that were to happen, then I can relax.
If you screw this up, maybe Plan B could be that you could raise alpacas, and sell the fiber to Becs.
Note to self: Warily eye all stressed, needy distant women as they may be coming in for a hug. ACK! Stranger Hugs!!!!
Hell, I’m not a stranger, and I had the audacity to hug her on Wednesday. “Get away!” said she before stiffening in my embrace.
~~Silk – Yeaaaaaahh… Plan B … There is a Plan B. We don’t talk about Plan B. Amy_in_StL – But, who knows when you may be asked to learn to trade securities and it knocks you down to the type of person who begs for hugs. I used to be above that, like you. Look away,look away. 3 – Stiffening. Heh heh.
Settle down there, Spunky.