During the prep for The Big Test, you are assured that you won’t be asked to do math other than simple addition, multiplication, subtraction and division, and this is true.
Happily, they promise to give you a simple 4-function calculator when you go in for the test.
My problem? I have to come clean. I cannot use a calculator.
Third grade: Times tables. Still with me, except for the higher sevens and eights, but access is slow.
Jr High – High school: Never got past Remedial Algebra. Never used a slide rule, never needed a slide rule, always had to show your math anyway. I did date a nerd who had a TI-30 calculator that cost a lot. No one else did.
College – I showed my math through Finite Math, which was all addition, etc.
Teaching English– I put my math brain in storage, except to divide the big number into the small number to calculate percentage grades.
Teaching Computers – Lotus 1-2-3 v1. That’s all I’m saying. Who needs a calculator when you have a spreadsheet?
So at the exam they’ll give me a four-function calculator to “help” me out. I got my own to practice with.
Marcia explained today that the “M” keys are memory keys, so I decided not to touch them anymore. I had been hitting them to clear the display. I had supposed that “CE” stood for “Clear everything,” so I would push that along with the M keys.
When I decided that I would just turn it off between questions, I noticed the “C” on the “ON” key doesn’t turn it off, but it does get you back to zero. See, I am a computer programmer.
Mine says “MINUS” in tiny letters instead of a minus sign, is that typical? And the comma is above the numbers, not in between the thousands. Perhaps this is ALL just a hideous psychological exam and when I walk in they’ll give me an abacus to see if I could handle the stress of Wall Street.
12 responses to “Cipherin’”
It’s a solar calculator. There is no off button. It turns off automatically after a few seconds in the dark.C = ClearCE = Clear EntryIf you had typed 9 + 8 + 7 + 5 and realized you meant to press 6 instead of 5, if you press C you clear the entire thing and have to start over. If you press CE you just clear the 5 and can type 6 and be on your merry calculatin’ way.
I use the memory keys when I need to add two sets of numbers and then divide or multiply one result by the other. You can achieve the same effect by writing the first number down instead of bothering with the buttons.
Square root and percent scare you? Silly. If you hit 25 and then hit the √ sign, it will give you the result 5. See, because 5 is the square root of 25. Get it? No one really needs that.
The percent key is only useful during sales. You type in a number, then an operator, then the second number, then %, then =. Example:
100 – 25% = 75.
59.99 – 20% = 47.992
So they probably charge you 48 bucks. Still, who wants to use a calculator while shopping? Lame.
It’s good to know I’m not alone in the world in my ignorance of how to do any of the “advanced” stuff on a calculator. Is it bad that I’m also a former English teacher?
Maybe they’ll hand out sliderules just to see how you cope…. (Not sure if slide rule is one word or two; so now I’m off to google)
I changed majors in college from journalism to English because I was so bad at math. Journalism required statistics which required Algebra & Trig. and I only made it to pre-Algebra. Sad, really, what the world of journalism lost because I couldn’t understand a word my remedial Alg. teacher said.
Gosh, thanks for this post, Queen! Also an English teacher, I always thought that CE was ‘cancel everything’ too, but would press C as well, just to be sure. It made me feel inadequate and as though I’d missed something that everyone else knew (though not enough to look it up, of course). Perhaps I should print this out and carry it with me everywhere.
Caroline – First of all, I know NO ONE else who could say “merry calculatin’ way” and 2, thank you, I will never touch CE again.Tami – Not mine, I hit 25 and “%” and I get a 0.Stephanie – I spot a trend here. Amy in StL-Google asks, “Do you mean Slide Rule?”Becs – My original Algebra teacher played pocket hockey all through every lecture. Plus he rubbed up against the door jambs. Big DOt – No, evidently, you’re just following the former English teacher path.
This is all very useful, by the way, because July 7 is my nemesis too: last day to file my tax return. I hate it, hate it, hate it. So many numbers!
Big Dot – Don’t they have TurboTax where you live? You just type in the numbers from each form and it figures the tax and sends it to the government? The only times I havent used TurboTax are the times I was corrected by the gov for my erroneous tax return.
Sigh. I count as self-employed, so I have to add up expenses which include percentages of things like power and water. I’m depressed just thinking about it.
I have to ask – you hit “25” and then “%”? Not “100” then “-“, the “25”, then %? Because you see how that’s different, right?
It doesn’t matter. No one really uses those keys.
Big Dot – That does sound depressing, but then it is nice to have the govt pay for part of your utilities.Tami – Um, well now that you explain it I see…