Somewhere in MiddleSex there is a German word that describes the way the middle-aged avoid mirrors. I was confronted with unexpected mirrors all day today.
First, I was at Snooty West County Hair Salon getting a hair cut from [Hot] Steve. I focused my pupils on his face in the mirror, but there were a few times I had to look at myself.
Worse, I went right next door to get an eye exam (my second in four days), then to pick out glasses. Mirrors to the left of me, mirrors behind the glasses. Mirrors flat on the counter, up against my face, hidden in the paneling. I didn’t know how to position myself.
Plus, I had to look directly at my face in a variety of glasses. Somehow I narrowed it down to three pair and had the assistant choose for me. They are metallic green. I know. (Not to be posted today, but I have a photo of the glasses on my face. Looking at the photo would be exactly like looking in a mirror, and I have had enough of that.)
(I wish I could have someone make a mask of what I’ll look like at seventy. I could wear it for a week, then strip it off and feel really good about myself.)
I forgot a package at the glasses store and sent Gary to pick it up.
He brought the package home and said, “THOSE WOMEN AT THAT PLACE ARE SO HOT.”
“I know. I had to look at one of them, then at me, then back at her. On and on.”
“And the women at your hair salon next door are hot too!”
“I know! I feel like another species.”
I need to hang out with some old ugly people. Walmart sells glasses.
12 responses to “On Mirrors”
My favorite pair of glasses ever came from Sam’s Club. And were fitted on me by a very large, very nice man of about twice my age.
I paid way too much for a pair of “designer” glasses that I rarely wear: thick, black hipster frames that actually look more Hanson brother than chic.
Ha! I’m SO GLAD I’m not the only one who doesn’t know where to look when getting my hair cut. I mean, if I look in the mirror, it’s like I’m ADMIRING myself and ….. no.
I just got a new pair of purple Kate Spade glasses. Of course, you may never see them because I almost never wear my glasses outside of the car. But hey, I can’t accuse many of the people at my eye doctor of being hot!
Wyo – That’s what I need. And now that you mention it Moms favorites were from Sams too…Kathy – I tried on some really clunky ones and then we both recoiled. And do you have more than one pair at a time then, so you dont wear the Hanson ones?RockyCat – I know! I did admire the haircut, though. He didnt Nancy Pelosify it as much as I wanted, though. Caroline – I might see you driving around campus or the neighborhood, though.
OMG, you just made me laugh with that last line. Hilarious
And here’s the difference between Bossy Tami and Polite Queen (and RockyCat). I watch when I’m getting a haircut SO THAT I CAN MAKE SURE THEY’RE DOING IT RIGHT. And, um… why wouldn’t I admire myself?
It’s when you look in a mirror and see your mother staring back at you that you give it up as unrewarding. I can go all day without seeing myself (I have that sort of hairdo). And when I’m at the hairdresser’s, I take off my glasses: instant soft focus.
I took them in to work today and ended up leaving them on my desk. The things I do for you…
Surprising Woman – I just ate Walmart Fried Chicken for dinner. That’s a sad statement.Tami – I’ve gotten my best haircuts after saying, “I trust you, do whatever you want.”Big Dot – I go all day without seeing myself and I don’t have that type of hairdo… Caroline – Oh, I’m sorry. Do you need a ride to work tomorrow?
Reel in horror at my truth – I look in the mirror and see my father in drag staring back at me. Fate can be so cruel.
Tami – I reel! I reel!