Oh, this makes no sense to me, but I’ve been running a fever since last Friday. I take my temperature randomly and it always seems to be about 100, high above my usual 97.
There has been a symphony of sneezing and coughing in my cube farm at TeddyJ. Iv’e been avoiding everyone, even to the point of leaving the lunch table because I felt a light mist from the mucus spray.
The bad thing about this is: I need to do things that require a non-inflamed brain. I need to retain arcane bits of securities information. I need to pay the taxes. I need to plan vacations and get on some type of airline rewards/miles gravy plane program. Oh, and I need to plan my 25th wedding anniversary.
I’ve gone all over the map on what to do for this. Do I put my wedding dress on a mannequin as an artful display? Do I wear my dress unzipped in the back with a white tshirt underneath? Do I trash my dress and set it on fire? Will the party be catered? (Yes.) Will people be required to wear hats? (Yes.) Can people wear jeans? (Yes.)
Right now I have a fever, so in my mind it’s at my house, with the wedding video playing in a loop in the background, with a catering company there passing about mincy tea cakes and making people feel uncomfortable, and I’m barefoot and wearing my unzipped wedding dress, which gets melted chocolate and hot tea down the front. But it isn’t like the dog’s going to use it, because he’s a male and has a tux already.
Oh! So this is genius! As a party favor people get to snip off a piece of my wedding dress and take it home with them. And some cake. And a wee silver ingot for everyone!
This is after three Advil, by the way.
OH AND GARY. Gary needs to see if there’s a Kill Bill XBox 360 game, so he could take his avatar and kick The Bride’s ass. Maybe HE could wear the dress. OR THE VEIL if nothing ELSE. And somehow we have to throw china or crystal into the fireplace.
I need to check Miss Manners and see if it’s tacky to throw yourself a 25th wedding anniversary party. Oops! Fever must have broken.
5 responses to “FEVAH!”
Weird, but I find that tylenol breaks a fever better for me and Advil is better for the headache. So you know that wedding dress trashing photo sessions are all the rage now right?
Please don’t trash your dress. I think the mannequin idea is lovely. The snipping isn’t so good either. Unless yours is a vintage Gunne Sax (as mine would have been if I could have made myself spend more than $75), I can see the snipping spree. Otherwise, donate it to a charity store.
The party is a fab idea.
One of the many,many, many reasons why I left Xman when I did was so I would have to deal with a 20th wedding party, whether there was one or not.
Try a different thermometer. You sound totally normal to me.
Dahling, you sound delirious. This has to work out well for you!
Amy – Yes, and I know the fire department can’t always save you even if they are right there. There must be non-fire-related dress trashings, though. I sewed my dress, so it’s pretty fragile. I think just trying it on might destroy it.Becs – Oh! I bought a Gunnie Sax dress for my homecoming . It COST. $96 dollars. In 1980. It had a lifted hem in front that accentuated my cankles, yet I loved it. Hot Mom – Oh, ha ha. Gary’s my control. He’s normal. Hattie – I know! I dont have time to have this fever. I have THINGS to DO.