Last Halloween, Gary called it. “This is our Last Halloween,” he said in disgust. “Sixty bucks worth of candy and TWO doorbell rings.”
As you know, Gary doesn’t like it when guests show up wanting treats and he doesn’t have enough. So every Halloween he buys double what we’ve needed on the busiest Halloween. And then, every year we have to go through the Gary exponential math, in which 20 is added every time an amount is spoken, so this year it will have been eighty bucks worth of candy we had to eat last November. (Or, as we say now, not eighty bucks. One Eileen Fisher scarf.)
So, we’ve turned our backs on the candy and the kids, but what do we do now? There is no way we could stay at home with the porch light off and ignore costumed kids as they walked past our house AND JUDGED US.
So, what’s a good place to spend Halloween? Where should we go? It’s Saturday night, we could go to a club. There was a haunted house we’ve meant to go to the last five years but I think it’s shut down now. I don’t want to go to a party, unless it’s an impromptu thing not involving costumes.
What’s been your best Halloween Night Out?
8 responses to “What Do Other People DO on Halloween”
My wedding night?
Movies? Dinner? Too pedestrian?
I am going to see Kelly Clarkson at the Family Arena. 🙂
What, you don’t expect kids to ring your bell in the *afternoon*? I second the dinner and movie idea, but recommend that you secretly (beacuse THAT’S HOW I LIVE MY LIFE, DAMMIT) purchase *1* bag of good candy, in case you don’t get out in time.
You could celebrate the 15th anniversary of my first date with my husband.
You can always perform the ritual that inevitably results in a bladder infection.
You could pretend you live in New Zealand and simply let it pass you by unnoticed. (The NZ of my childhood, that is – you and your insidious American culture, and its rotting of the current generation’s teeth.)
Becs (and 3) – I have clearly not expressed how sick Gary has been.Candy – huh! A movie in a theater! Didnt even think of that. Maybe that Michael Moore movie..75 – The Dan Band would have been better.Tami! – Good point! And how could they even tell if the porch light was one?Caroline – That is sooooo sweet.3 (and Becs) – That requires oxygen, and Gary has had some trouble breathing.Big Dot – Look, if you aren’t spiritual enought to celebrate the evening of All Saints Day, don’t put it on us ‘Merkins.