Gary just came across my list:
Diapers
Poise Pads
Make dog EAT
white bread
drink whiskey
“Never mind that,” I said, “It’s the stuff I learned about this weekend. For the blog.”
What I Learned This Weekend: Diapers
Friday, Friend #2 mentioned it’s very difficult to have twins and diaper them alone, because you have to diaper one baby with one hand, because your other hand has to stay on the other twins’ back so it doesn’t crawl poopy and naked through the house.
“I would tie one baby to a table,” I said. (Parenting – so easy.)
“Ellen. That’s III-LEEEEEE-GAAAALLLLL” #2 spelled out. “That’s ABUSE.”
I think I then suggested duct-taping one baby to the counter. I think the response was a group re-iteration that I shouldn’t have children.
Later that night I thought, could you get an encyclopedia and put it on the baby’s back? Would that slow the baby down? You could open it and put it on the baby like a teepee.
What I Learned This Weekend: Poise Pads
I was at home, I was coughing, I figured I’d find out what the capacity is of the second-lightest Poise Pad. So…now I know. I did fly without a net Friday at work, I’m proud to say, but boy are my Kegels tired. Oh, and I learned from Friend #3 it’s pronounced Keeeee-guls. Had no idea. Been calling them Kay-guls.
What I Learned This Weekend: Make dog EAT
Mac has been very picky and neglecting his regular foods, even some he’s always viewed as treats (Braunschwaeger, Deli Turkey, smoked Gouda). I found an article on dogs, vomiting, and hypoglycemia, and switched to sweeter foods like the milk left over from Fruity Cheerios cereal, peanut butter, and honey roasted cashews. He ate it and kept all of it down.
What I Learned This Weekend: white bread
So, the Babka (pronounced Bob-kuh) Enthusiasm has waned, because I’m a white bread girl. My heritage demands I make white bread. And my city demands I buy the Saint Louis Bread Company / Panera Bread Company Cookbook and make that bread. And I did, and it was good. You make a starter for all breads, like you make a sourdough starter, only this is white bread starter. You know how good this bread is? Gary doesn’t like it, that’s how good.
What I Learned This Weekend: drink whiskey
I’ve been drinking Baileys for my cough. Friend #3 wickedly gave me Makers Mark instead. I survived. However, I only have Jack Daniels at home. (You know. For the kids.) I found that if you slam a shot back you can follow it up with a mug of apple juice, then the shuddering only lasts a while, and you don’t cough for four hours. Of course, now I must find a way to do this at lunch, and in Vegas during concerts. Gary was thinking flasks. Where would I get a flask? Dillards? Wal-Mart? So much to learn.
9 responses to “List”
Get a flask in the Vegas airport!
Walmart carries flasks. Don’t ask me how i know this.
I always thought it was “keggles”.
Tell Friend#2 not to take both diapers off at once. Then baby#2 is not crawling poopy.
You can get a flask that says “Meh.” on thinkgeek.com. I have some with amaretto in it. 🙂
My granny always kept bourbon around for just that purpose. To my knowledge, my granny was a teetotaller, except when she needed a little nip for her cough. It took me until well into adulthood to understand that.
Also, diapering twins? Why would one not leave one baby in the damn crib while you diaper the other one? Also, tying one baby down is not illegal, that’s why high chairs now come with a 5-point harness.
Catherine – How can you? Say you were going LV to STL an bought a flask in Vegas, if the flask store is past the baggage claim you could fill it up with water and get on the plane with more than three ounces of water.Meredith – Hmm. Good to know. Magpie – I got the idea that this was a crisis situation. Maybe she couldnt take the idea of them staying poopy. I don’t know. #2, no judgement here. Angie – DING! YOU are the 10,000th commenter. Jenny – As I pointed out to my friend, it isn’t like I was tying it to the babys neck. And what if she was in a public bathroom, or someplace where she wouldnt have her crib?
I like blackberry brandy for coughs.
Or maybe I just think that it tastes like cough medicine.
I missed girls’ night. :(Maybe #2’s girls liked to undo their own dirty diapers. Some kids take them off as soon as they’ve finished their business.
Tami – I would love a blackberry cough medicine. Is it as strong as Grand Marnier? I gulped some of that down once and it was fire. Caroline – We missed you! Marcia still feels sick.