Weirdest Dream Ever

Gary has the Simultaneous PukeCoughPee Virus now, only his pee has farther to travel and, as you know, he pukes only once a decade. One distinguishing characteristic of the Virus is, I surmise, that you breathe very shallowly when you sleep so not to cough, this starves your brain of oxygen and you have insanely vivid and base lizard-brain dreams.

Gary and I have begun a competition. We wake up and compare dreams. Yesterday he reported we had been participating in an orgy in his dream. I had just gotten out of a dream in which I got lingerie and French kissing from a fat Italian woman and her grandfather. “My dream sucked,” I complained, “Tomorrow night I’m having an orgy.”

Here’s what I dreamed instead. In short, I was a professor in a college town who held “salons” while in a bubble bath. And I was much admired. However, one day I impulsively decided to drive to Jefferson City, and by the time I got there I was lost, didn’t know where I had initially been headed, and confused about who I was. I went about asking people if they recognized me and got more and more amnesiac and distressed. Eventually all I remembered was that my mother had drowned in the river. I found the place she had drowned, and crawled on my hands and knees down the mossy levee and into the green water. To die! The end. (Pirouettes and bows.)

I have never had such a dream before. In every dream I am there, I am the victim or the hero or usually the innocent bystander, I might change how I look or what people call me, but never have I lost who I was while dreaming.

So. Has anyone else had a dream of losing ones identity resulting in suicide? It really shook me.