It began simply. Brownies for breakfast. Team Leader brought in some extra dark chewy ones. Really good, except for the one containing an enamel crown.
My crown, of course. The enamel / metal flavor clashed with the brownie, so I didn’t swallow.
Of course, I had to have the dentist cement it back in. I’ve managed to avoid the dentist’s office since I treated them to a post-Mom meltdown a year ago.
Dentist’s Office on First call: Of course we’ll put your crown in!
Callback: The dentist noticed you’ve missed your last three cleanings! Come in an hour later and we can clean your teeth!
Busted.
Then, at the office: You know what, we’re not going to clean your teeth! After we cement your crown we’re going to do some x-rays instead.
Of course, and then you’ll find the cracked tooth I had eighteen months ago. Huh. Wasn’t there something else I was supposed to do back then? Oh, yeah, I need my gums scraped. Geh.
Them: Hey, after we do the x-rays, we want you to try this new product we have, Oraqix. You can have it when you get your teeth cleaned. It numbs your mouth!
Me: So I’m getting my teeth cleaned?
Them: Yes! Your teeth and your gums! But only on one side of your mouth!
See? See what they did there? My right side “gum cleaning” was code for the GUM PLANING: $800.00 that showed up on my bill. And now in two weeks I go back to get the other side done. Of course, the insurance pays for all but $210 dollars of it. But now I’m scheduled for the rest of the gum planing, she wants to fix a barely chipped tooth, and I’ll need probably three fillings. Plus a bridge. And a diamond grill.
10 responses to “Just When I Thought I Was Out… They Pull Me Back In”
What is a gum planing? And why does this need to be done?Can you “just say no”?
Oh my god, my worst nightmare in a blog post. I have a mouthful of hurt right now, and I need to go, but the things I don’t know I need will cost so much we’ll have to sell the house. So for now, I’m grinning and baring it. I’m just not grinning as wide as I used to.
Does the numbing solution really numb? I had planing done 3 years ago and because I despise novacaine did three quads without it, but the 3rd location hurt so bad that I opted for the 4th location which was opposite the 3rd to be done with novacaine, but I still hate novacaine.
I can’t even….My mind can’t even wrap itself around all that dental work all at once. I fall apart at my cleanings every 6 months. I seriously do. I walk in and the receptionist is like, “Oh no, you again? (hits intercom) Dr.? The Drama Queen is here for her itty-bitty insignificant little cleaning. Do you have the drugs, earphones and dark glasses ready?”I hate going to the dentist more than anything in the world. I really do.
Dental insurance? Kewl. Maybe I should have a real actual office job too.
.75 – Sure, but they can say no too. I said, “Cant I just come ONCE a year?” and she said “NO.”Candy – You know, I almost went a few months ago I had such a toothache – but then I realized it was a gum / jaw ache. Took some anti-inflammatories and it went away.Christy – Well, she mentioned my face relaxed whenever she applied it, but my feet were still agitated. The planing didn’t hurt at all. What really freaks me out is the scraping of the metal on my teeth, and I wasn’t wearing my iPod.Erin G – I haven’t cried since my first time. Oh. Except the time before this one. And I like the nitrous but THEY WON’T GIVE ENOUGH.Gaoo – Actually, this is one of the first years I’ve had it.
You know, my teeth should have all fallen out of my mouth by now. My last cleaning hurt so much that I didn’t go back – ever. And yet, I swear to you, I don’t have a mouth full of rotting black things. Maybe the Colgate helps.
Tami – After the cleaning when I was a kid (13) when the dentist slapped me, mom said I didnt have to go back ever. And I didn’t till I was 23.
You know what, I also want to have my teeth clean as regular as I want.
-ja
Tooth Diamonds – this is SO WEIRD I’m leaving it in.