An “Out of Area” telemarketer convinced me to pick up just by his persistence.
“Hello, I’m with the Missouri State troopers.Ma’am, perhaps you’ve heard of our “Slow Down, Move Over” campaign.”
“No.” I haven’t, I thought, Are there billboards? I skip commercials. “What’s involved in the campaign? Commercials? Billboards?”
“Uh!” Nervous laugh. “I’m getting to that, just … hold on. The campaign,” he read aloud, “is designed to support the troopers who are killed every year by drivers who don’t slow down and move over when they see an emergency vehicle. We’ve got a campaign to support the troopers.”
“So, what’s involved in the campaign?” I asked, still trying to picture a ghoulish driving billboard.
“We want to get more troopers on the road, and have a death benefit to the families of those who have died.”
“But none of those things are preventative.” (You know, not like a police car wreck commercial.)
“Uh – but doesn’t it make sense to have more troopers on the road?”
Well, no, not if they’re dying. I almost said that, but then he slapped me with:
“Everyone wants more troopers! That’s just common sense.”
Evidently I was veering from the script. I gave him an out. I volunteered, “Maybe if there are more troopers each will have to drive a shorter distance and be in less danger.”
He was so excited. “Yes! That’s just it! Will you make a pledge?”
“What is the very lowest amount I can pledge?”
He extracted from me a promise I would pay the invoice they were going to send in a prompt manner, and I made him promise they would never call again, because if they operate like the Democratic Party I’d get a weekly extortion call.
“We won’t call again till this time next year.”
So. People, if you don’t slow the HELL down and MOVE OVER when you see a trooper on the highway I will come out to your house and get my twenty-five dollars back.
17 responses to “Troopid”
You gave him money? Really? Did you ask him how much goes to admin/overhead? Because I’m betting his crappy scriptwriter gets half.
We get periodic warnings on the radio, TV, and in the newspapers about campaigns like that. The police say that as a government department, they do not solicit contributions, these people are doing it themselves, and they keep it legal by sending police benevolent associations maybe ten cents or less on every dollar they collect. Call the staties and ask about this “campaign”, and if they know nothing about it, ignore the invoice.
Heck. Ignore the invoice anyway. How does a contribution increase the number of cops on the road? They gonna use it to hire more? Duh.
You my darling, are a softie. That particular type of “charity” was recently the focus of a news story. The only charity involved is… wait, it’s….. ummm……
I can’t remember one.
I’ve been ignoring those calls all weekend. Thanks for being the guinea pig.
I’d rip up the invoice and send $25 to Backstoppers instead.
One more thing: how does one support a dead trooper? “Way to go, Officer! You’ve joined the choir invisible. Atta boy! Knew you had it in you.”
I can do that for free.
We’ll move over.
Don’t give those people any money. Cops in NJ make $135,000 / year. And when they retire, they get ALLLLL their sick time and untaken vacation time paid out to them. For years and years and years back, it accumulates. A couple of guys recently retired with lump sum payments of $350,000. Each.
Don’t give them any money.
We used to get those calls for our local sheriff’s office’s campaign to raise money for a kid’s program. I think it was for use in a keep kids off drugs thing. They got pretty insistent about it and at one time I had to get pretty insistent back…and they called again the next year.
Big reason I don’t have a land line.
Becs, that’s quite the exception. My brother has been a cop for 10+ years and would laugh hysterically at the thought he could make 6 figures. Until recently it did seem like he had a ton of vacation, but really he was just trading shifts to get longer stretches of time off. Now that he’s on a M-F job he can’t do that anymore. It took him 10 years of rotating shifts every 4 weeks while getting cursed, spit on, shot at, etc. to get a job where his wife can be confident that he’ll come home every night. That is, when he doesn’t get called in on bomb squad duty. Believe me, most of our men in blue could use a few more dollars. This just isn’t the organiation that can give it to them.Back to your regularly scheduled blog comments.
Caroline – Half? no way. And I think he should have been able to improvise.~~Silk – Ummmmm … I dunno. Maybe it goes to the retirment fund and that means they can hire two cheap troopers for one retired one?Surprising Woman – Damn! Should have just hung up.3 – Well, maybe the ghosts are worried about their widows. It could happen.Becs – I say let the cops and mentally ill have their money, because I would gladly pay the same amount if it would ensure I didn’t have their lives. Sherri – I know! And how bad does it feel to say no? Awful.Caroline – I just looked it up: you’d be making $95,000 in New Jersey, so I’d hope a cop would make more.
Caroline – I’m sorry your brother has had a tough time of it. Please don’t mistake me, I appreciate the danger most police officers are faced with. However, NJ is also full of tiny little towns like the one I live in, where at most they get called out because some teenagers are racing on a local two-lane road. Most of them have never had to draw their weapons.
TheQueen – Unfortunately, the mentally ill don’t get much money. Yo, representing.
The ghosts would appreciate Backstoppers instead.
Becs – Yeah, but the schizo-level non-functioning bi-polar ones do. 3 – OH ALL RIGHT I’LL LOOK UP BACKSTOPPERS. … and they sound good, but the official troopers do acknowledge this campaign.
By the way, what is your number? I have a few projects I’m working on and could use some pledges myself.
Judith – Sure! Are you a dead trooper?
If it will help. Besides, I can think of something better than that for a cause, now that I know what a soft touch you are! Especially since the money never goes to the dead troopers anyway, it goes into the telemarketers pockets. Directly.
Judith – Well, it’s sitting on the counter right now. I’m going to make them wait a day.