Someone at work offered to let me borrow one of the “Sookie Stackhouse” novels for Gary, who has become a big True Blood fan.
I said, “Oh, no, he wouldn’t want to borrow a book. He’d want his own.”
“Well, I don’t really mean ‘borrow;’ he could have it.”
“Oh, no that would be even worse.” Then I started to try to explain – he be stressed by the pressure of having someone else’s book, and a used book would bother him because he’d be indebted to the book’s real owner. And then I heard a) how obnoxious I sounded and b) how really obnoxious Gary sounded.
It’s just I’ve know him since ’82, and I know what bugs him, and I try to avoid bugging him. But now I am done explaining. I will no longer say these things:
“Thanks, but Gary likes to drive his own car in case he gets called back in to work.”
“Sure, just let me check if Gary thinks that’s okay.”
“I’d like to come to your pool party, but Gary never feels comfortable around women he doesn’t know in bikinis. He feels like he’s invading their privacy somehow.”
From now on, I’m just going to say “I don’t let Gary out of the house.”
9 responses to “Gary the Ogre”
Obnoxious, no. A little OCD, perhaps. (But the last bit? A hoot!)
Ooo, this is very Xman-ish. If I breathed on a corner of a book, he’d scream that it was ruined. Gah.
You’re very understanding.
I’m following the Queen Mum’s example and have begun daringly to write in my books. Um, in pencil, though.
gotta love the little idiosyncrasies and by love i mean tolerate by making fun of them,*we’re laughing with you not at you* ive never really understood that expression entirely btw, is it supposed to make the person whose being made fun of feel better or the person whose making fun feel better?
/ramble
here’s to knowing and caring enough to know what bugs your partner
Well, at least he doesn’t present his balls in public.
Good thing he’s never been poor. Otherwise, he’d never get to read a book.
Oh yeah, and Xman refused to get books out of the library. Other people had touched them.
I think you could replace all these things you no longer want to say with, “I’m good/I’m there/Yes, thank you but you’ll have to ask Gary about him.”
Julie
Heehee! It’s a good chuckle to reflect on those things that bug us/our loved ones/people upon whom we wish revenge (not that those are necessarily Boolian groupings).
My only real peculiar demand is to sit next to a window in any form of motorized transportation, because it helps me avoid vomiting. I think of it as a public service.
Big Dot – I almost said to the waiter recently, “Bring sugar. Gary’s in a much better mood when he has sugar.” Becs – Oh, Mom only ever wrote in pencil.Keri – I think that “laughing with you” thing tells the person who is the subject of the joke to unwad their panties and see why people are laughing at them.Faythe – I am so thankful for that. But Ryan does, and you are nice enough to post photos.Judith – This is true.Becs – Nut job xMan. How did he feel about money? Other people touch money too.Lazy Julie – I agree. I should be more vague. Sherri – I don’t require a window, but I asked a man walking behind me to walk in front of me instead. He was making me feel rushed.