Here is how I know my youth is gone.
[WARNING: Those of you who are young are going to be screaming in your head at me and Gary. YOUR youth isn’t gone.]
[I’m looking into how to make this one of those Facebook quizzes. “ARE YOU OLD? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT!”]
My car’s been starting a little shaky this last week, and this evening when I left work it only clicked loudly. Happily, I had been working with Friend #3 at her condo, and I was in her parking lot.
“I don’t have to bother Marcia,” I thought, “I can take care of this by myself.” And I got my little self-contained jump starter, and cracked the hood. At about this time two very nice neighbors of Marcia came out, and I convinced them I had it all under control (“You know how to work that? You know where the clips connect?”), and that if the jump starter didn’t work I had my husband and Marcia to fall back on, but I’d find them if I needed anything after that.
Tried the jumper. No juice. Just clicking. Possibly because the jumper wasn’t charged.
So, Plan B: I called the 1-880 number in the back of my mini. Not under warranty, but they’d be glad to call a tow company for me for $100.00
On to Plan C: I called Gary. He was glad to come out and bring his jump-starter (after all, it IS my birthday month), but he said it would take a while to get his pants on.
[I can hear you screaming the youthful plan in your head. Shhhhh.]
Plan D: While waiting for Gary I called Friend #3, Marcia, yards away in her condo. She came out and offered to drive me somewhere. I guess she could have jumped it? She has a Prius, and I didn’t want my Mini to assimilate with her hybrid SpaceBorgwagon.
Gary eventually came over, the tow man was called, we went back into Marcia’s condo, tow man came.
[Here we go. If you thought of this, you are young.]
TOW MAN POPPED THE CLUTCH.
[I KNOW! HOW OLD ARE WE?]
Gary and I saw him do it, and we both simultaneously groaned and slapped our heads.
(It sounded like this: “rollllllll…Vroommm! GroannnnSLAP!”)
Never crossed my mind. In my youth, I could pop a clutch like a demon. I popped clutches all the time. Never in reverse, like this guy did, but I didn’t even consider pushing it with my foot into a downward slant.
Tow man was nice. He only charged us for the service call, since he technically didn’t even try to jump our car, then he suggested to Gary that we just drive the car to Sears and install a new battery on our own. HAHAHAHAhhahaa. We were so ashamed we just waved him off. “No no no. We are so senile we’ve forgotten about clutch-popping.” Clutch-pooping, that’s more like our lives now.
Anyway, I really want someone at work with a manual transmission to kill their battery so I can pop their clutch, in reverse, all-cool and young-like. I might start disabling cars in the parking lot, opening doors and leaving their lights on.
11 responses to “My Youth is Definitively Gone”
Ahhh! The push-start! I was worried because I didn’t know what popping the clutch even was, let alone think of doing it – but yes, I would have done that, in my Mini years ago.
I would prefer to do that than use the jumper cables, because I have a half-memory that if I connect them the wrong way around, I’ll blow up the engine.
Don’t know if it’s more worrying that Gary didn’t have his pants on, or that it would take him time to put them on.
This …
She has a Prius, and I didn’t want my Mini to assimilate with her hybrid SpaceBorgwagon.
… was BEAUTIFUL. But that’s why I come here, for the lyrical writing. Oh, and the hilarious stories.
(I forgot about clutch-popping, too. My excuse is that I no longer own a vehicle with a clutch.)
Even when I had a clutch, I couldn’t pop it. I miss my clutch though. Those were good times.
Huh. I’ve driven a stick my whole life and I’ve never heard of clutch popping.
(I just bought a Mini. Don’t have it yet, but thrilled about it.)
It didn’t even occur to me that your Mini might be a manual transmission. How old does that make me?
Years and years ago I was very very young. I was dating X2B. My father bought a VW beetle to let me drive. It had issues. One issue was that it had to be push started often. I understood the theory but had not actually been at the wheel during a push start. X2B and I were out on a date in the VW. It wouldn’t start. “We have to push start it”, says I sagely. X2B decides it would be more chivalrous were he to do the pushing. (We were on a flat surface.) He pushes with all his might and the little VW gained momentum. X2B yells, “OK, do it now.” “Do what?” Yells I as I coasted along to a stop.
One lives, one learns, then one forgets….
I don’t own a car. That would have never occurred to me. But I’m going easy on myself because it’s my birthday month, too.
“….take a while to get his pants on….” seems to me to be the crux of the whole We’re Old story. That alone is worth the price of admission.
Big Dot – Okay, I just asked Gary what he was doing with his pants off and why it would take a while, and it seems he was napping. Gary is not at his best when isn’t fully awake, so “I need to put my pants on” really means, “I need to get my brain waves out of the big house I’m dreaming of.”wyo – I decided that was when I forgot about popping – the previous car was an automatic. It ruined me.Candy – It is the only way to truly drive a car. And it sounds like you had one of those reliable cars that started when you wanted it to!Magpie – You will love the Mini. You wont have to pop it for five years. But, if you turn off the DSC, jerk the wheel and then yank up the parking brake, it will spin.Crystal – I think that makes you very young – the transmission stages are: automatic, then manual, then in old age automatic again. Zayrina – Ha! An excellent story, and well told. Erin G – I always go easy on myself. In fact, I just told the nurse I was fat and didn’t care, and she said, “That Celexa’s working REAL good, isn’t it.” Gaoo – Well, it was really that he had to wake up. I drove one time with Gary when he was still half asleep (and I was unable to drive) and it was scary. Oddly, I didnt even question why it would take a while to get his pants on. Funny you all picked up on that!
Yeeees, well, I’m afraid that raises more questions than it answers. Is Gary such a snappy dresser (this seems unlikely somehow) that he can’t bear any creases in his pants other than official ones? Or by ‘nap’ does he mean something much more full-on than the temporary consciousness-blip that I understand it to be? I think gaoo is on to something, but it’s not just the time it takes to put them on again that’s the We’re Old thing, it’s the taking them off in the first place.
And you do realise, through all this, I’m struggling to remember that by ‘pants’ you mean ‘trousers’ and not the garment underneath them?
Big Dot – He’s a naked napper. Naps in my house take a full 3-hour REM cycle.